Optimizing for survival: that person needs to discharge their cognitive dissonance (manifesting as hurt feelings or stress) in order to return to functional baseline, but can’t do that on the original cause for any number of reasons: will get disciplined, fired (at work or school), will be responded to or threatened with physical violence, etc.
So they discharge it onto someone/something else where the consequences are distant or non-existent. E.g. Emily’s husband may shrug it off, or it may cause cracks in their relationship that will later cause them to separate (but of course she will have a much harder time thinking through that in the moment).
(I’m trying to be more concise in my writing and communication; let me know if you want clarification!)
Optimizing for survival: that person needs to discharge their cognitive dissonance (manifesting as hurt feelings or stress) in order to return to functional baseline, but can’t do that on the original cause for any number of reasons: will get disciplined, fired (at work or school), will be responded to or threatened with physical violence, etc.
So they discharge it onto someone/something else where the consequences are distant or non-existent. E.g. Emily’s husband may shrug it off, or it may cause cracks in their relationship that will later cause them to separate (but of course she will have a much harder time thinking through that in the moment).
(I’m trying to be more concise in my writing and communication; let me know if you want clarification!)