So, I’m trans and ace and sex averse, so this is probably pretty idiosyncratic but...
From the inside, some people I click with and flirt relentlessly with. It’s vaguely described by the phrase “escalating reciprocity”, where the game is to match and escalate slightly above your partners level. You can be pretty direct or subtle, it doesn’t really matter as long as you’re synced to the other person’s intensity.
Mostly it’s a S1 thing; I’ve never tried to be good at flirting or master it so I don’t even have a very good understandijg of what my S1 is picking up on when I say “intensity”. It’s definitely not just physical touch; most of my flirting happens online.
I tend to feel safer flirting when I know there’s no chance of sex, but I am told that most people prefer to flirt when there is the chance of sex, and some have even said that’s the entire point.
If I find someone I click with this way, and I wasn’t ace and thus cared enough to optimize I can totally see this being a pathway to sex with an investment of a few hours. (More than yours, but a lot better than the baseline hundreds of hours.) With drugs it would probably improve even further, although it’s hard to say as I generally don’t do drugs and have a hard time predicting how that affects things.
I’m not sure how much difference culture makes (straight culture vs trans girl rationalist) here but it might be a lot?
So, I’m trans and ace and sex averse, so this is probably pretty idiosyncratic but...
From the inside, some people I click with and flirt relentlessly with. It’s vaguely described by the phrase “escalating reciprocity”, where the game is to match and escalate slightly above your partners level. You can be pretty direct or subtle, it doesn’t really matter as long as you’re synced to the other person’s intensity.
Mostly it’s a S1 thing; I’ve never tried to be good at flirting or master it so I don’t even have a very good understandijg of what my S1 is picking up on when I say “intensity”. It’s definitely not just physical touch; most of my flirting happens online.
I tend to feel safer flirting when I know there’s no chance of sex, but I am told that most people prefer to flirt when there is the chance of sex, and some have even said that’s the entire point.
If I find someone I click with this way, and I wasn’t ace and thus cared enough to optimize I can totally see this being a pathway to sex with an investment of a few hours. (More than yours, but a lot better than the baseline hundreds of hours.) With drugs it would probably improve even further, although it’s hard to say as I generally don’t do drugs and have a hard time predicting how that affects things.
I’m not sure how much difference culture makes (straight culture vs trans girl rationalist) here but it might be a lot?