One thing that I do after social interactions, especially those which pertain to my work, is to go over all the updates my background processing is likely to make and to question them more explicitly.
This is helpful because I often notice that the updates I’m making aren’t related to reasons much at all. It’s more like “ah they kind of grimaced when I said that, so maybe I’m bad?” or like “they seemed just generally down on this approach, but wait are any of those reasons even new to me? Haven’t I already considered those and decided to do it anyway?” or “they seemed so aggressively pessimistic about my work, but did they even understand what I was saying?” or “they certainly spoke with a lot of authority, but why should I trust them on this, and do I even care about their opinion here?” Etc. A bunch of stuff which at first blush my social center is like “ah god, it’s all over, I’ve been an idiot this whole time” but with some second glancing it’s like “ah wait no, probably I had reasons for doing this work that withstand surface level pushback, let’s remember those again and see if they hold up” And often (always?) they do.
This did not come naturally to me; I’ve had to train myself into doing it. But it has helped a lot with this sort of problem, alongside the solutions you mention i.e. becoming more of a hermit and trying to surround myself by people engaged in more timeless thought.
One thing that I do after social interactions, especially those which pertain to my work, is to go over all the updates my background processing is likely to make and to question them more explicitly.
This is helpful because I often notice that the updates I’m making aren’t related to reasons much at all. It’s more like “ah they kind of grimaced when I said that, so maybe I’m bad?” or like “they seemed just generally down on this approach, but wait are any of those reasons even new to me? Haven’t I already considered those and decided to do it anyway?” or “they seemed so aggressively pessimistic about my work, but did they even understand what I was saying?” or “they certainly spoke with a lot of authority, but why should I trust them on this, and do I even care about their opinion here?” Etc. A bunch of stuff which at first blush my social center is like “ah god, it’s all over, I’ve been an idiot this whole time” but with some second glancing it’s like “ah wait no, probably I had reasons for doing this work that withstand surface level pushback, let’s remember those again and see if they hold up” And often (always?) they do.
This did not come naturally to me; I’ve had to train myself into doing it. But it has helped a lot with this sort of problem, alongside the solutions you mention i.e. becoming more of a hermit and trying to surround myself by people engaged in more timeless thought.