I do know that I feel very uncomfortable applying my own judgement to real-life situations.
I think that this is, really, the central point. From what you’ve said here, you know a lot about nursing. If given an exam question detailing just about any set of circumstances, you’ll probably be able to answer it correctly (given that, sometimes, the correct answer is ‘call the doctor’).
But now, let’s look at consequences. If you answer an exam question wrong, writing down a course of action that’s wrong, then the worst that will happen is a few stern words from a lecturer, and maybe a low mark. Nothing serious.
If you get something wrong in dealing with a patient, then there are serious consequences; and those consequences are serious to the patient, as opposed to yourself. Like a good nurse, you are extremely averse to having a patient take on serious consequences. So in real life, you don’t just want the right answer; you want the right answer and a high level of certainty that it is, in fact, the right answer. What you’re approaching your supervisor for isn’t, it seems, the right answer—you have that already. What you are approaching your supervisor for is the certainty that your answer is actually correct.
And he won’t give that to you, because he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life rubber-stamping your decisions; he wants you to develop the skill of knowing how certain you are that your course of action is correct, and he also wants you to develop a reasonable threshold of certainty, such that in all but the most difficult of situations you can continue without his help.
I think that this is, really, the central point. From what you’ve said here, you know a lot about nursing. If given an exam question detailing just about any set of circumstances, you’ll probably be able to answer it correctly (given that, sometimes, the correct answer is ‘call the doctor’).
But now, let’s look at consequences. If you answer an exam question wrong, writing down a course of action that’s wrong, then the worst that will happen is a few stern words from a lecturer, and maybe a low mark. Nothing serious.
If you get something wrong in dealing with a patient, then there are serious consequences; and those consequences are serious to the patient, as opposed to yourself. Like a good nurse, you are extremely averse to having a patient take on serious consequences. So in real life, you don’t just want the right answer; you want the right answer and a high level of certainty that it is, in fact, the right answer. What you’re approaching your supervisor for isn’t, it seems, the right answer—you have that already. What you are approaching your supervisor for is the certainty that your answer is actually correct.
And he won’t give that to you, because he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life rubber-stamping your decisions; he wants you to develop the skill of knowing how certain you are that your course of action is correct, and he also wants you to develop a reasonable threshold of certainty, such that in all but the most difficult of situations you can continue without his help.
That’s how I see the situation.