I appreciate you writing this. I found myself agreeing much of it. The post also helped me notice some feeling of “huh, something seems missing… there’s something I think this isn’t capturing… but what is it?” I haven’t exactly figured out where that feeling is coming from, so apologies if this comment ends up being incoherent or tangential. But you’ve inspired me to try to double-click on it, so here it goes :)
Suppose I meet someone for the first time, and I begin to judge them for reasons that I don’t endorse. For example, maybe something about their appearance or their choice of clothing automatically triggers some sort of (unjustified) assumptions about their character. I then notice these thoughts, and upon reflection, I realize I don’t endorse them, so I let them go. I don’t feel like I’m crushing a part of myself that wants to be heard. If anything, I feel the version of myself that noticed the thoughts & reframed them is a more accurate reflection of the person I am/want to be.
I think EAs sometimes struggle to tell the difference between “true values” and “biases that, if removed, would actually make you feel like you’re living a life more consistent with your true values.”
There is of course the tragic case of Alice: upon learning about EA, she crushes her “true values” of creativity and beauty because she believes she’s “supposed to” care about impact (and only impact or impact-adjacent things). After reframing her life around impact, she suppresses many forms of motivation and joy she once possessed, and she burns out.
But there is also the fantastic case of Bob: upon learning about EA, he finds a way of clarifying and expressing his “true values” of impact and the well-being of others. He notices many ways in which his behaviors were inconsistent with these values, the ones he values above all else. After reframing his life around impact, he feels much more in-tune with his core sense of purpose, and he feels more motivated than ever before.
My (rough draft) hypothesis is that many EAs struggle to tell the difference between their “core values” and their “biases”.
My guess is that the social and moral pressures to be like Bob are strong, meaning many EAs err in the direction of “thinking too many of their real values are biases” and trying too hard to self-modify. In some cases, this is so extreme that it produces burnout.
...But there is real value to self-modifying when it’s appropriate. Sometimes, you don’t actually want to be a photographer, and you would be acting in a way that’s truly more consistent with your values (and feel the associated motivational benefits) if you quit photography and spent more time fighting for a cause you believe in.
To my knowledge, no one has been able to write the Ultimate Guide To Figuring Out What You Truly Value. If such a guide existed, I think it would help EAs navigate this tension.
A final thought is that this post seems to describe one component of burnout. I’m guessing there are a lot of other (relatively standard) explanations for why some EAs burnout (e.g., not having strong friendships, not spending enough time with loved ones, attaching their self-worth too much to the opinions of a tiny subset of people, not exercising enough or spending enough time outdoors, working really hard, not having enough interpersonal intimacy, getting trapped in concerns around status, feeling alienated from their families/old friends, navigating other classic challenges of young adulthood).
I appreciate you writing this. I found myself agreeing much of it. The post also helped me notice some feeling of “huh, something seems missing… there’s something I think this isn’t capturing… but what is it?” I haven’t exactly figured out where that feeling is coming from, so apologies if this comment ends up being incoherent or tangential. But you’ve inspired me to try to double-click on it, so here it goes :)
Suppose I meet someone for the first time, and I begin to judge them for reasons that I don’t endorse. For example, maybe something about their appearance or their choice of clothing automatically triggers some sort of (unjustified) assumptions about their character. I then notice these thoughts, and upon reflection, I realize I don’t endorse them, so I let them go. I don’t feel like I’m crushing a part of myself that wants to be heard. If anything, I feel the version of myself that noticed the thoughts & reframed them is a more accurate reflection of the person I am/want to be.
I think EAs sometimes struggle to tell the difference between “true values” and “biases that, if removed, would actually make you feel like you’re living a life more consistent with your true values.”
There is of course the tragic case of Alice: upon learning about EA, she crushes her “true values” of creativity and beauty because she believes she’s “supposed to” care about impact (and only impact or impact-adjacent things). After reframing her life around impact, she suppresses many forms of motivation and joy she once possessed, and she burns out.
But there is also the fantastic case of Bob: upon learning about EA, he finds a way of clarifying and expressing his “true values” of impact and the well-being of others. He notices many ways in which his behaviors were inconsistent with these values, the ones he values above all else. After reframing his life around impact, he feels much more in-tune with his core sense of purpose, and he feels more motivated than ever before.
My (rough draft) hypothesis is that many EAs struggle to tell the difference between their “core values” and their “biases”.
My guess is that the social and moral pressures to be like Bob are strong, meaning many EAs err in the direction of “thinking too many of their real values are biases” and trying too hard to self-modify. In some cases, this is so extreme that it produces burnout.
...But there is real value to self-modifying when it’s appropriate. Sometimes, you don’t actually want to be a photographer, and you would be acting in a way that’s truly more consistent with your values (and feel the associated motivational benefits) if you quit photography and spent more time fighting for a cause you believe in.
To my knowledge, no one has been able to write the Ultimate Guide To Figuring Out What You Truly Value. If such a guide existed, I think it would help EAs navigate this tension.
A final thought is that this post seems to describe one component of burnout. I’m guessing there are a lot of other (relatively standard) explanations for why some EAs burnout (e.g., not having strong friendships, not spending enough time with loved ones, attaching their self-worth too much to the opinions of a tiny subset of people, not exercising enough or spending enough time outdoors, working really hard, not having enough interpersonal intimacy, getting trapped in concerns around status, feeling alienated from their families/old friends, navigating other classic challenges of young adulthood).