That was an interesting read, not in terms of reading the discussion of the obvious object level or the meta level, but simply observing the attempts at pretend-rational behavior. Both Said and habryka clearly got triggered and exasperated, probably due to their past experiences in similar situations, yet acted as if they were not. I suspect they didn’t even admit their emotional state to themselves, instead taking pride in keeping the conversation “civil”. I am not sure whether this approach was productive or counterproductive.
A standard advice in this situation is to take a breather from a discussion whenever you feel that your emotional state is not where you want it to be. Sadly, noticing one’s emotional state is not a natural skill, even less so for those with more “logical” mind, which comprise the majority of this forum’s participants.
My guess would be that trying to change the norms of discourse to address the passive aggressive yet overtly polite swipes at each other that are the hallmark of this thread is unlikely to be productive, since they do not address the root of the issue: PWE (posting while exasperated). I hope that the LW team spends some time talking about this particular issue, as well.
One hopeful sign is the decision that “it seemed better to take some time away from it to gather our thoughts” and to presumably have the time to cool down and process one’s feelings, as well.
That was an interesting read, not in terms of reading the discussion of the obvious object level or the meta level, but simply observing the attempts at pretend-rational behavior. Both Said and habryka clearly got triggered and exasperated, probably due to their past experiences in similar situations, yet acted as if they were not. I suspect they didn’t even admit their emotional state to themselves, instead taking pride in keeping the conversation “civil”. I am not sure whether this approach was productive or counterproductive.
A standard advice in this situation is to take a breather from a discussion whenever you feel that your emotional state is not where you want it to be. Sadly, noticing one’s emotional state is not a natural skill, even less so for those with more “logical” mind, which comprise the majority of this forum’s participants.
My guess would be that trying to change the norms of discourse to address the passive aggressive yet overtly polite swipes at each other that are the hallmark of this thread is unlikely to be productive, since they do not address the root of the issue: PWE (posting while exasperated). I hope that the LW team spends some time talking about this particular issue, as well.
One hopeful sign is the decision that “it seemed better to take some time away from it to gather our thoughts” and to presumably have the time to cool down and process one’s feelings, as well.