As a parent, this is a situation I encounter routinely. My wife and I have a standing policy that we don’t talk to the younger kids about big plans until perhaps a week beforehand (big being anything between visiting Grandma to a international trip). If we even mention that we’re considering a big event/trip of some sort, it immediately enters their minds as an assurance, not information. My gut feel is that this held true for our kids until about age 11, at which point we could state, “We’re thinking about X this summer” and it would not longer be received as “If we do not do X in the next 1-2 weeks I have license to complain about it anytime I’m reminded of X forever and ever”.
As a parent, this is a situation I encounter routinely. My wife and I have a standing policy that we don’t talk to the younger kids about big plans until perhaps a week beforehand (big being anything between visiting Grandma to a international trip). If we even mention that we’re considering a big event/trip of some sort, it immediately enters their minds as an assurance, not information. My gut feel is that this held true for our kids until about age 11, at which point we could state, “We’re thinking about X this summer” and it would not longer be received as “If we do not do X in the next 1-2 weeks I have license to complain about it anytime I’m reminded of X forever and ever”.