I’m considered to be a shy person, but I think whether I am slower at responding or not depends on the situation.
I am a much better communicator when I have time to think over my response and put it in writing. I have trouble getting a word in during large group conversations, because by the time I think of something I can add, someone else starts talking. Then the conversation shifts to a different topic, and what I was going to say is no longer relevant.
If I’m talking to a friend one on one I can respond quickly and the conversation flows well. Though occasionally there might be a pause, and I may wonder what to say next to keep the conversation going. But in a large group, I am slower to respond. Like when it comes to participating in class, I’m often too slow to raise my hand because I have an inner battle of negative thoughts and worries in my head urging me to keep my hand down. I think if I didn’t have all those anxious thoughts and my heart wasn’t beating like crazy, I’d be able to raise my hand a lot quicker. But still I don’t know if I’d be able to respond faster than those who just yell out the answer or shoot their hand up immediately.
I wouldn’t say that I’m very bad at reacting though like #4 speculates, it just depends on the situation and the type of reaction we’re talking about. I have very good reaction time when it comes to physical things like playing tennis and other sports, video games, etc. But when it comes to reacting orally in a larger group, I’d say I’m much slower because I have so many thoughts and worries in my head that keep me from speaking right away. Plus I like to think over my response very carefully, sometimes down to the very words I want to say.
March should be an interesting month for me though, because my goal for March is to participate in class. I’ve hardly ever participated in class before because whenever I think about doing it my arm goes limp, my heart starts beating like crazy, and my palms get a little sweaty. And of course all the worries and thoughts come rushing in my head. But I’m really going to try and raise my hand as much as I can. Maybe if I just don’t think so much about what I’m doing it will be easier? I’ll find out I guess. I’ll be posting about it here:
It looks like you have a reaction problem in a difference sense than I do; I have no trouble thinking of intelligent conversation in real time, but physical skills elude me. I would guess you have faster reaction times with sports and video games because it’s easier for you to gain expertise in these areas and “chunk” your skills so that you don’t have to constantly re-evaluate. But in conversation, you find it harder to “chunk” intelligent replies. (I’m not sure if this is chunkable, but having a large store of general knowledge to incorporate in your comments would help.) If you’re going to try participating more in class, it might help to read your textbooks or do your own Internet/library research the day before, so that you’re more likely to have something to say. Good luck!
Yeah I think those things just require less thinking and more doing. My shyness doesn’t interfere with those things because they are comfortable situations for me. But with things that require me to act all of a sudden with thought involved like answering a question or acting something out, I feel a lot more uncomfortable. I can do it, but I’d do it much better if I had more time to think about it and to write it down.
Thanks, I tried that last week with my psych class but still ran into trouble like you can see on my blog post, but I’ll keep trying. It makes me really nervous to think of doing this, but I just have to go for it. :)
I’m considered to be a shy person, but I think whether I am slower at responding or not depends on the situation.
I am a much better communicator when I have time to think over my response and put it in writing. I have trouble getting a word in during large group conversations, because by the time I think of something I can add, someone else starts talking. Then the conversation shifts to a different topic, and what I was going to say is no longer relevant.
If I’m talking to a friend one on one I can respond quickly and the conversation flows well. Though occasionally there might be a pause, and I may wonder what to say next to keep the conversation going. But in a large group, I am slower to respond. Like when it comes to participating in class, I’m often too slow to raise my hand because I have an inner battle of negative thoughts and worries in my head urging me to keep my hand down. I think if I didn’t have all those anxious thoughts and my heart wasn’t beating like crazy, I’d be able to raise my hand a lot quicker. But still I don’t know if I’d be able to respond faster than those who just yell out the answer or shoot their hand up immediately.
I wouldn’t say that I’m very bad at reacting though like #4 speculates, it just depends on the situation and the type of reaction we’re talking about. I have very good reaction time when it comes to physical things like playing tennis and other sports, video games, etc. But when it comes to reacting orally in a larger group, I’d say I’m much slower because I have so many thoughts and worries in my head that keep me from speaking right away. Plus I like to think over my response very carefully, sometimes down to the very words I want to say.
March should be an interesting month for me though, because my goal for March is to participate in class. I’ve hardly ever participated in class before because whenever I think about doing it my arm goes limp, my heart starts beating like crazy, and my palms get a little sweaty. And of course all the worries and thoughts come rushing in my head. But I’m really going to try and raise my hand as much as I can. Maybe if I just don’t think so much about what I’m doing it will be easier? I’ll find out I guess. I’ll be posting about it here:
http://theshynessproject.wordpress.com/
It looks like you have a reaction problem in a difference sense than I do; I have no trouble thinking of intelligent conversation in real time, but physical skills elude me. I would guess you have faster reaction times with sports and video games because it’s easier for you to gain expertise in these areas and “chunk” your skills so that you don’t have to constantly re-evaluate. But in conversation, you find it harder to “chunk” intelligent replies. (I’m not sure if this is chunkable, but having a large store of general knowledge to incorporate in your comments would help.) If you’re going to try participating more in class, it might help to read your textbooks or do your own Internet/library research the day before, so that you’re more likely to have something to say. Good luck!
Yeah I think those things just require less thinking and more doing. My shyness doesn’t interfere with those things because they are comfortable situations for me. But with things that require me to act all of a sudden with thought involved like answering a question or acting something out, I feel a lot more uncomfortable. I can do it, but I’d do it much better if I had more time to think about it and to write it down.
Thanks, I tried that last week with my psych class but still ran into trouble like you can see on my blog post, but I’ll keep trying. It makes me really nervous to think of doing this, but I just have to go for it. :)