there is one main problem with this argument, and this that people who want to cross Fence aren’t safe on their current position.
for example, high-commitment communities is “safe” social default, one very old that survived from before we were humans. but, as Ozy wrote, “One of the most depressing facts about high-commitment communities is that they almost all cover up child sexual abuse.”
this is the safety of the Fence. this “safety” sucks.
the sister that went no-contact with her rapist father is the black sheep of the family. she is the radical, the revolutionist. all her family think she is bad daughter and she should not deny her father his granddaughter. her sister, who send her little boy unsupervised to his grandfather, even after he start to wetting himself again—she is the conservative, who respect the status quo.
i want to be the black-sheep sister. i can’t see the other option as anything but abomination.
***
different argument: what is the fence? because if you ask me, cheating in unhappy marriage IS the fence, the conservative view. the unconservative view is you can just divorce. very new, was definitely not like that during most of the history. while constant cheating, sometimes with “self-respecting woman have husband and lover” as folk-wisdom idiom, was the norm in some times and places.
so how can you be respectful of the fence, with you don’t know what side is the conservative one?
(it’s like what Duncan said, but from different angle)
there is one main problem with this argument, and this that people who want to cross Fence aren’t safe on their current position.
for example, high-commitment communities is “safe” social default, one very old that survived from before we were humans. but, as Ozy wrote, “One of the most depressing facts about high-commitment communities is that they almost all cover up child sexual abuse.”
this is the safety of the Fence. this “safety” sucks.
the sister that went no-contact with her rapist father is the black sheep of the family. she is the radical, the revolutionist. all her family think she is bad daughter and she should not deny her father his granddaughter. her sister, who send her little boy unsupervised to his grandfather, even after he start to wetting himself again—she is the conservative, who respect the status quo.
i want to be the black-sheep sister. i can’t see the other option as anything but abomination.
***
different argument: what is the fence? because if you ask me, cheating in unhappy marriage IS the fence, the conservative view. the unconservative view is you can just divorce. very new, was definitely not like that during most of the history. while constant cheating, sometimes with “self-respecting woman have husband and lover” as folk-wisdom idiom, was the norm in some times and places.
so how can you be respectful of the fence, with you don’t know what side is the conservative one?
(it’s like what Duncan said, but from different angle)