The way I’d express the struggle for myself is being caught between wanting to connect to people in general, and find people in general to be painfully lacking. At some point in recent years I privileged the hypothesis that focusing ways I was better and others worse was a way to preempt or soothe from rejection: I don’t know how to fit in with these folks, but it’s okay, I’m better.
Curious for more on whether you endorse or don’t endorse this feeling of “being better”.
I’ve found it useful and good (on my values) to be really clear in my own mind about moral relativism and not using shortcuts that mislead me. I prefer being wordy and saying “I’m better on my values” than “I’m better” to remind myself of this relativism. Sometimes one is also one-the-whole better on their values, but still they have a particular edge at something, if even comparative advantage from different preferences/opportunities. Thus, even dominating someone on skills is not being “better” than them, rather being appropriate for different situations. I highlight this because it feels healthier to think of everyone as having their most appropriate place/situation and building a society towards that.
I’m curious what would happen if I gained in charisma and social skill such that I was completely at ease around people at large, rather than feeling like I’m translating and adapting. That could be shaping feelings here too.
I posit it’s not only skill, but deep understanding of the way people are and why it’s “natural”/”appropriate given their situation” for them to be like this, that enables smooth interfacing. It’s true there’s a need to translate in the sense that you can’t use your usual habits and words with other groups of people, but at a deep enough understanding of other cultures it’s not translating anymore, it’s being the appropriate way with them as just another language u can speak natively.
I posit it’s not only skill, but deep understanding of the way people are and why it’s “natural”/”appropriate given their situation” for them to be like this, that enables smooth interfacing. It’s true there’s a need to translate in the sense that you can’t use your usual habits and words with other groups of people, but at a deep enough understanding of other cultures it’s not translating anymore, it’s being the appropriate way with them as just another language u can speak natively.