I suppose, but 1) there has been no build-up/tolerance, the effects from a given dose have been stable, 2) there are no cravings for it or anything like that, 3) I’ve never had anything like withdrawal symptoms when I’ve missed a dose, other than a reversion to how I was for the years before I started taking it at all. What would a chemical dependency actually mean in this context?
My depression symptoms centered on dulled emotions and senses, and slowed thinking. This came on gradually over about 10 years, followed by about 2 years of therapy with little to no improvement before starting meds. When I said that for me the effects kicked in sharply, I meant that on day three after starting the drug, all of a sudden while I was in the shower my vision got sharper, colors got brighter, I could feel water and heat on my skin more intensely, and I regained my sense of smell after having been nearly anosmic for years. I immediately tested that by smelling a jar of peanut butter and started to cry, after not crying over anything for close to 10 years. Food tasted better, and my family immediately noticed I was cooking better because I judged seasonings more accurately. I started unconsciously humming and singing to myself. My gait got bouncier like it had been once upon a time before my depression all started. There was about a week of random euphoria after which things stayed stable. Over the first few months, if I missed my dose by even a few hours, or if I was otherwise physically or emotionally drained, I would suddenly become like a zombie again. My face went slack, my eyes glazed over, my voice lost any kind of affect, my reactions slowed down dramatically. By suddenly, I mean it would happen mid-conversation, between sentences. These events decreased to 1-2x/month on an increased dose, and went away entirely a few years later upon increasing my dose again. I have also, thankfully, had no noticeable side effects. Obviously a lot of other things have happened in 6 years, many quite relevant, that I don’t feel like getting into here, but those are mostly related to me regaining the ability to build capacity to actually live my life.
Yes, it is theoretically possible a placebo could have done that. I don’t think it is plausible, or that any study (maybe I should say, any study that did not include me? Even then I’m not sure what a study on me-now could entail that would be convincing).
I do realize my experiences on these meds are atypical, my depression presented somewhat unusually, and SNRIs are not SSRIs. I got extremely lucky. But that was kind of my point in my original comment.
I suppose, but 1) there has been no build-up/tolerance, the effects from a given dose have been stable, 2) there are no cravings for it or anything like that, 3) I’ve never had anything like withdrawal symptoms when I’ve missed a dose, other than a reversion to how I was for the years before I started taking it at all. What would a chemical dependency actually mean in this context?
My depression symptoms centered on dulled emotions and senses, and slowed thinking. This came on gradually over about 10 years, followed by about 2 years of therapy with little to no improvement before starting meds. When I said that for me the effects kicked in sharply, I meant that on day three after starting the drug, all of a sudden while I was in the shower my vision got sharper, colors got brighter, I could feel water and heat on my skin more intensely, and I regained my sense of smell after having been nearly anosmic for years. I immediately tested that by smelling a jar of peanut butter and started to cry, after not crying over anything for close to 10 years. Food tasted better, and my family immediately noticed I was cooking better because I judged seasonings more accurately. I started unconsciously humming and singing to myself. My gait got bouncier like it had been once upon a time before my depression all started. There was about a week of random euphoria after which things stayed stable. Over the first few months, if I missed my dose by even a few hours, or if I was otherwise physically or emotionally drained, I would suddenly become like a zombie again. My face went slack, my eyes glazed over, my voice lost any kind of affect, my reactions slowed down dramatically. By suddenly, I mean it would happen mid-conversation, between sentences. These events decreased to 1-2x/month on an increased dose, and went away entirely a few years later upon increasing my dose again. I have also, thankfully, had no noticeable side effects. Obviously a lot of other things have happened in 6 years, many quite relevant, that I don’t feel like getting into here, but those are mostly related to me regaining the ability to build capacity to actually live my life.
Yes, it is theoretically possible a placebo could have done that. I don’t think it is plausible, or that any study (maybe I should say, any study that did not include me? Even then I’m not sure what a study on me-now could entail that would be convincing).
I do realize my experiences on these meds are atypical, my depression presented somewhat unusually, and SNRIs are not SSRIs. I got extremely lucky. But that was kind of my point in my original comment.