You make many good points about skills and group membership. Perhaps this one is really not that relevant to your point, but it does seem worth mentioning for any aspiring rationalist considering your scenario.
You don’t mention the skill sets I think are most likely to contribute to that scenario.
I’d think after hearing that story that most likely explanation was that Adam irritated Bella.
The most relevant skills seem like communication, social grace, and emotion management.
The sequences frequently mention communication, but seldom mention social grace or emotion management. Not getting defensive when someone is being abrasive seems like largely an emotion management skill.
Communication is hard, so it’s pretty likely that Adam and Bella weren’t on exactly the same page about what was under discussion. They could’ve both been mostly right since they were talking about somewhat different things (you said the exchange was brief, making this more likely). Both transmissive and receptive communication skills are hard, particularlly for complex topics.
The skill of telling someone they’re wrong without being abrasive is real and difficult. I don’t think you mentioned it.
The skill of being abrasively told you’re wrong and not letting it irritate you is also real and difficult.
I think this is worth mentioning because people seem to fairly frequently assume that being a rationalist does or should mean your emotions don’t play a role in your thinking. This is wildly unrealistic. Being a rationalist provides some resistance to the worst forms of emotions interfering with logic (since the love of truth is an emotion that can counteract many other influences), but it doesn’t nearly provide full immunity.
Assuming you’re not biased or otherwise affected by emotion because you’re a rationalist is very irrational.
You make many good points about skills and group membership. Perhaps this one is really not that relevant to your point, but it does seem worth mentioning for any aspiring rationalist considering your scenario.
You don’t mention the skill sets I think are most likely to contribute to that scenario.
I’d think after hearing that story that most likely explanation was that Adam irritated Bella.
The most relevant skills seem like communication, social grace, and emotion management.
The sequences frequently mention communication, but seldom mention social grace or emotion management. Not getting defensive when someone is being abrasive seems like largely an emotion management skill.
Communication is hard, so it’s pretty likely that Adam and Bella weren’t on exactly the same page about what was under discussion. They could’ve both been mostly right since they were talking about somewhat different things (you said the exchange was brief, making this more likely). Both transmissive and receptive communication skills are hard, particularlly for complex topics.
The skill of telling someone they’re wrong without being abrasive is real and difficult. I don’t think you mentioned it.
The skill of being abrasively told you’re wrong and not letting it irritate you is also real and difficult.
I think this is worth mentioning because people seem to fairly frequently assume that being a rationalist does or should mean your emotions don’t play a role in your thinking. This is wildly unrealistic. Being a rationalist provides some resistance to the worst forms of emotions interfering with logic (since the love of truth is an emotion that can counteract many other influences), but it doesn’t nearly provide full immunity.
Assuming you’re not biased or otherwise affected by emotion because you’re a rationalist is very irrational.