Four types of reacting from an egocentric perspective, that are unproductive:
Evaluate: do not immediately let the other know whether you agree or disagree;
Probe: do not keep asking questions and investigating;
Advise: do not counsel purely based on your personal experiences;
Interpret: do not try to define the motives of the behavior based on your personal experience.
Four keys to EMPHATIC listening
Empathic listening is the way to go, and can be divided into different levels:
Mimic the content: repeat what the other just said. This makes sure that you are listening and that the other knows you are. The good thing of mimicking is that there is no place for judgment;
Rephrase the content: tell the same story, but in your own words. You do not only show that you are listening, but also that you understand what the other is (literally) saying;
Reflect on feelings: focus on the emotions that lie behind what is told, not on the words that try to express these emotions;
Rephrase the content and reflect the feeling: this is a combination of the second and third form of empathic listening. It shows that you are really listening and understanding what message lies behind the words.'
Great work
‘Seek first to understand, then by understood’
edit: misplaced apostrophe
’What you should NOT do:
Four types of reacting from an egocentric perspective, that are unproductive:
Four keys to EMPHATIC listening
Empathic listening is the way to go, and can be divided into different levels: