It does apply to praise: I take statements of the type “you’re so wonderful” as having much more to do with how the person feels than it has to do with me.
I learned to translate statements like “you are smart” as meaning “you agree with me”. And, analogically, “you are stupid” (often phrased as “first I thought you were smart, but now I see you are not”) as “you disagree with me”.
It does apply to praise: I take statements of the type “you’re so wonderful” as having much more to do with how the person feels than it has to do with me.
I suppose you already drew the obvious conclusion, but I still think it’s worth spelling out:
The key to people liking you is making sure they feel good when you’re around. Causality is secondary.
I learned to translate statements like “you are smart” as meaning “you agree with me”. And, analogically, “you are stupid” (often phrased as “first I thought you were smart, but now I see you are not”) as “you disagree with me”.