My father died about thirty years ago, when I was a teenager. So now I am older than he ever was. It is a weird feeling.
I spent some time thinking about mortality. Things that people tell themselves, it’s all bullshit, religious or otherwise. The only thing that makes some sense is that when the moment comes, you should try dying with some dignity—not because it would make things any different for you (I see no reason to think that the last minute of your life is somehow more significant than any other minute of your life), but because otherwise you would unnecessarily increase the pain of people who loved you. But that’s all.
This is my punishment for not being smart enough, fair or not.
That sounds like a good summary of my life, heh. (Including the reverse; there are some good things in my life as a reward for being sufficiently smart in given situation, and there is nothing fair about that either.)
Generally, spending more time with people seems like a good idea. Preferably if that is weighted by how much you love them, not just how convenient it is to meet them. When covid is over, I’ll try to follow my own advice (but knowing myself, I wouldn’t bet money on it).
Meta: even saying “I know how you feel, you are not alone” is bullshit on some level, because people say these words to appeal to an instinct of safety in numbers. But billions of people can die just like a lonely individual. That said, yeah, I probably know how you feel. It sucks.
My father died about thirty years ago, when I was a teenager. So now I am older than he ever was. It is a weird feeling.
I spent some time thinking about mortality. Things that people tell themselves, it’s all bullshit, religious or otherwise. The only thing that makes some sense is that when the moment comes, you should try dying with some dignity—not because it would make things any different for you (I see no reason to think that the last minute of your life is somehow more significant than any other minute of your life), but because otherwise you would unnecessarily increase the pain of people who loved you. But that’s all.
That sounds like a good summary of my life, heh. (Including the reverse; there are some good things in my life as a reward for being sufficiently smart in given situation, and there is nothing fair about that either.)
Generally, spending more time with people seems like a good idea. Preferably if that is weighted by how much you love them, not just how convenient it is to meet them. When covid is over, I’ll try to follow my own advice (but knowing myself, I wouldn’t bet money on it).
Meta: even saying “I know how you feel, you are not alone” is bullshit on some level, because people say these words to appeal to an instinct of safety in numbers. But billions of people can die just like a lonely individual. That said, yeah, I probably know how you feel. It sucks.