The thought of my partner sharing a particular level of connection (poorly specified, but I know it when I see it / imagine it) with another person triggers typical primate challenge behaviors in me. E.g., violence toward the other male. Along with feelings of having been hurt. Since I’m special to my partner, the implication is that she wouldn’t want to make me feel hurt and highly violent.
You’ve never felt romantic jealousy? Or did you hack it away like Alicorn?
For males who do not share this trait, I wonder on the mechanism, and whether it might have some relation to measures of testosterone. Probably too simplistic, but a study I’d like to see nonetheless.
I’ve found that my jealousy, though much lower than seems normal, still varies considerably. And it correlates, as far as I can tell, with general self-confidence. If I’m feeling down about myself I feel much more possessive and attached to significant others. When I’m feeling good about myself I’ve been fine with open relationships. Of course, that doesn’t mean that variable explains all jealousy variation in the population. As for testosterone: anecdotally I haven’t noticed anything when my testosterone level increased following a change in diet and exercise.
And it correlates, as far as I can tell, with general self-confidence. If I’m feeling down about myself I feel much more possessive and attached to significant others. When I’m feeling good about myself I’ve been fine with open relationships.
This has been my experience too—jealousy almost always comes from a place of insecurity. For a while my standard jealousy first-aid was just to make an extra trip to the gym/practice some other skill I could feel good about improving at.
The thought of my partner sharing a particular level of connection (poorly specified, but I know it when I see it / imagine it) with another person triggers typical primate challenge behaviors in me. E.g., violence toward the other male. Along with feelings of having been hurt. Since I’m special to my partner, the implication is that she wouldn’t want to make me feel hurt and highly violent.
You’ve never felt romantic jealousy? Or did you hack it away like Alicorn?
For males who do not share this trait, I wonder on the mechanism, and whether it might have some relation to measures of testosterone. Probably too simplistic, but a study I’d like to see nonetheless.
I’ve found that my jealousy, though much lower than seems normal, still varies considerably. And it correlates, as far as I can tell, with general self-confidence. If I’m feeling down about myself I feel much more possessive and attached to significant others. When I’m feeling good about myself I’ve been fine with open relationships. Of course, that doesn’t mean that variable explains all jealousy variation in the population. As for testosterone: anecdotally I haven’t noticed anything when my testosterone level increased following a change in diet and exercise.
This has been my experience too—jealousy almost always comes from a place of insecurity. For a while my standard jealousy first-aid was just to make an extra trip to the gym/practice some other skill I could feel good about improving at.
FWIW I’ve very rarely experienced anything like this reaction.