If he had sex with someone without telling me until afterwards, I would be very surprised, and it would suggest that our relationship doesn’t work the way I thought it did. I wouldn’t be OK with that change/revelation, and would need to adjust until I was OK with it.
If so, I wouldn’t consider it much of a stretch to call it monogamous.
What I considered a stretch was accepting ciphergoth’s definition of monogamy, given that my marriage is monogamous, because “We disallow other partners” didn’t seem to accurately describe my monogamous marriage. (Similarly, “We disallow the purchase of minivans” seems equally inaccurate.)
Then came ciphergoth’s clarification that he simply meant by “disallow” that right this moment it isn’t allowed, even though if we expressed interest in changing the rule the rule would change and at that time it would be allowed. That seems like a weird usage of “disallow” to me (consider a dialog like “You aren’t allowed to do X.” “Oh, OK. Can I do X?” “Yeah, sure.”, which is permitted under that usage, for example), but I agreed that under that usage it’s true that we’re not allowed other partners.
If so, I wouldn’t consider it much of a stretch to call it monogamous.
Nor would I, as I said initially.
What I considered a stretch was accepting ciphergoth’s definition of monogamy, given that my marriage is monogamous, because “We disallow other partners” didn’t seem to accurately describe my monogamous marriage. (Similarly, “We disallow the purchase of minivans” seems equally inaccurate.)
Then came ciphergoth’s clarification that he simply meant by “disallow” that right this moment it isn’t allowed, even though if we expressed interest in changing the rule the rule would change and at that time it would be allowed. That seems like a weird usage of “disallow” to me (consider a dialog like “You aren’t allowed to do X.” “Oh, OK. Can I do X?” “Yeah, sure.”, which is permitted under that usage, for example), but I agreed that under that usage it’s true that we’re not allowed other partners.
I hope that clears things up.