A. Ron gets home from work and heads upstairs towards his bedroom. His housemate Gary has the bedroom at the top of the stairs, and Gary is in there at his desk with the door open. Gary says “Hey Ron” in a friendly voice as Ron gets to the top of the stairs.
Through several cues (leaving his door open, paying enough attention to notice that Ron is there, greeting Ron, using a friendly tone of voice) Gary is giving signs about being open to a conversation right now, and about more stable traits (something like friendliness, extraversion, desire to have a relatively high social interaction housemate relationship). For many people, Gary’s behaviors would involve costs related to distraction/interruption.
B. On Wednesday, Tina complained to her housemates about the pile of dishes that had been sitting in the sink, which she dealt with all by herself. On Thursday, her housemate Emily finished a bowl of cereal while the dishwasher was running and decided to wash her bowl by hand right then rather than leaving it in the otherwise empty sink.
At the cost of handwashing a dish, Emily signaled something like caring or cooperation—that she takes Tina’s preferences into account, that she can contribute to the solution of coordination problems. And, perhaps even moreso, she was avoiding the negative effect on Tina, and the negative inferences that Tina would have drawn, if the bowl had been left in the sink.
Two more examples? How about:
A. Ron gets home from work and heads upstairs towards his bedroom. His housemate Gary has the bedroom at the top of the stairs, and Gary is in there at his desk with the door open. Gary says “Hey Ron” in a friendly voice as Ron gets to the top of the stairs.
Through several cues (leaving his door open, paying enough attention to notice that Ron is there, greeting Ron, using a friendly tone of voice) Gary is giving signs about being open to a conversation right now, and about more stable traits (something like friendliness, extraversion, desire to have a relatively high social interaction housemate relationship). For many people, Gary’s behaviors would involve costs related to distraction/interruption.
B. On Wednesday, Tina complained to her housemates about the pile of dishes that had been sitting in the sink, which she dealt with all by herself. On Thursday, her housemate Emily finished a bowl of cereal while the dishwasher was running and decided to wash her bowl by hand right then rather than leaving it in the otherwise empty sink.
At the cost of handwashing a dish, Emily signaled something like caring or cooperation—that she takes Tina’s preferences into account, that she can contribute to the solution of coordination problems. And, perhaps even moreso, she was avoiding the negative effect on Tina, and the negative inferences that Tina would have drawn, if the bowl had been left in the sink.