If I assume from the beginning that they are (or are likely to be) bozos, then I have an entirely different orientation toward the thing we’re doing together, and it’s much harder for me to get mad about it.
Yeah, I’ve gradually learned to usually do something like this.
This mostly solves the problem, but it does leave me less excited in general about doing things that require competent allies.
Yes, this is also my experience, which is very sad (as IMO shared intentionality is a pretty fundamental human faculty). I want to have countervailing forces of still trying those projects, even if they’re less exciting because riskier and more annoying and less likely to work. And I want to learn how to avoid the worst sorts of Bughouse-y dissonance. E.g. by doing some more work up front, in order to
get on the same page, or
just not do the thing in the first place, and avoid the overinvestment and stress, or
at least be somehow prepared/forewarned for the significant chance of failing each other.
Yeah, I’ve gradually learned to usually do something like this.
Yes, this is also my experience, which is very sad (as IMO shared intentionality is a pretty fundamental human faculty). I want to have countervailing forces of still trying those projects, even if they’re less exciting because riskier and more annoying and less likely to work. And I want to learn how to avoid the worst sorts of Bughouse-y dissonance. E.g. by doing some more work up front, in order to
get on the same page, or
just not do the thing in the first place, and avoid the overinvestment and stress, or
at least be somehow prepared/forewarned for the significant chance of failing each other.