Never try to defend a proposition against a hostile arguer.[2] They do not care. Your best arguments will fall on deaf ears. Your worst will be picked apart by people who are much better at this than you. Your insecurities will be exploited. If they have direct power over you, it will be abused.
I’m not sure I agree with this advice. First, interacting with the hostile arguer can make one more clear on why one actually believes what one believes—one just shouldn’t have your expected goal in that context of actuallying convincing them. Second, many people are not true hostile arguers in the sense that their complete goal really is to be a hostile arguer, but rather people have a mixed set of intended goals. Third, arguing with hostile arguers in front of bystanders can convince bystanders who are leaning on the fence, or are considering similar ideas. Fourth, in many cases (such as the parental example) the hostile arguer has an emotional connection to one and so making the argument may be successful in helping keep an emotional bridge that may be burned if one simply refused to discuss it.
I’m not sure I agree with this advice. First, interacting with the hostile arguer can make one more clear on why one actually believes what one believes—one just shouldn’t have your expected goal in that context of actuallying convincing them. Second, many people are not true hostile arguers in the sense that their complete goal really is to be a hostile arguer, but rather people have a mixed set of intended goals. Third, arguing with hostile arguers in front of bystanders can convince bystanders who are leaning on the fence, or are considering similar ideas. Fourth, in many cases (such as the parental example) the hostile arguer has an emotional connection to one and so making the argument may be successful in helping keep an emotional bridge that may be burned if one simply refused to discuss it.