I’m trying to install a new habit, wondering if anyone had relevant feedback, or if my description of it would be useful to anyone else.
Background: I experience situations where I feel like I “should” try to do X (for example, it’s a habit that would produce good results if I kept it up), but feel a lot of resistance to doing X. The conflict between the part of myself enforcing the should and opposing the should isn’t very fun. When I don’t end up doing X I start down a spiral of self criticism that leads to feeling bad about myself, which leads to me giving up on doing more things, and so on.
The habit formula I’m trying to deal with this situation is:
(Trigger) Noticing an aversion towards doing something that you endorse doing or a though of form “You should do X” coupled with aversion to doing X.
(Action) Take a small step towards doing X (remove a trivial inconvenience, mentally simulate taking the action, try to break down your aversion into smaller pieces)
(Celebrate) Mentally reward yourself for building this habit
(Step Back) Allow yourself to make the choice about whether to give in to the initial impulse, with the “should” part of your mind stepping down in order to let you figure out what you really want to do. It’s OK to continue and do X, and it’s okay to stop and give in.
Although a habit of just the first 3 steps would be more optimal to execute, reassuring myself that I’m committed to following step 4 is the part that prevents my brain from getting into a conflict about whether to follow the habit procedure or not.
Concrete Examples:
Social event that I don’t feel like going to in the moment, but could turn out to be enjoyable and would be probably good for building social skills ⇒ Step towards is to go to the location where the event is held and go it, but be okay with leaving at any time (even immediately), or not talking to people.
Think about a habit that I’ve tried to pick up, but have dropped off doing ⇒ Step towards is to carry out the habit, just this once, and be okay with not forming a concrete plan to get myself to do it in the future right now
Has something of this form been tried before? Any thoughts or improvements? I think the difficult parts are a) noticing the trigger in step 1 b) making sure that step 2 is enough to be meaningful (although I think my personality will lead me to do this most of the time) c) long term maintenance. I tentatively feel like this has been helpful, but haven’t been working with it for long enough to be certain.
I’m trying to install a new habit, wondering if anyone had relevant feedback, or if my description of it would be useful to anyone else.
Background: I experience situations where I feel like I “should” try to do X (for example, it’s a habit that would produce good results if I kept it up), but feel a lot of resistance to doing X. The conflict between the part of myself enforcing the should and opposing the should isn’t very fun. When I don’t end up doing X I start down a spiral of self criticism that leads to feeling bad about myself, which leads to me giving up on doing more things, and so on.
The habit formula I’m trying to deal with this situation is:
(Trigger) Noticing an aversion towards doing something that you endorse doing or a though of form “You should do X” coupled with aversion to doing X.
(Action) Take a small step towards doing X (remove a trivial inconvenience, mentally simulate taking the action, try to break down your aversion into smaller pieces)
(Celebrate) Mentally reward yourself for building this habit
(Step Back) Allow yourself to make the choice about whether to give in to the initial impulse, with the “should” part of your mind stepping down in order to let you figure out what you really want to do. It’s OK to continue and do X, and it’s okay to stop and give in.
This is like Comfort Zone Expansion (trying to split up things you are uncomfortable with) meets B.J. Fogg’s TinyHabit program or How habits work and how you may control them.
Although a habit of just the first 3 steps would be more optimal to execute, reassuring myself that I’m committed to following step 4 is the part that prevents my brain from getting into a conflict about whether to follow the habit procedure or not.
Concrete Examples: Social event that I don’t feel like going to in the moment, but could turn out to be enjoyable and would be probably good for building social skills ⇒ Step towards is to go to the location where the event is held and go it, but be okay with leaving at any time (even immediately), or not talking to people. Think about a habit that I’ve tried to pick up, but have dropped off doing ⇒ Step towards is to carry out the habit, just this once, and be okay with not forming a concrete plan to get myself to do it in the future right now
Has something of this form been tried before? Any thoughts or improvements? I think the difficult parts are a) noticing the trigger in step 1 b) making sure that step 2 is enough to be meaningful (although I think my personality will lead me to do this most of the time) c) long term maintenance. I tentatively feel like this has been helpful, but haven’t been working with it for long enough to be certain.