I feel some skepticism that you possess special knowledge on this topic. The language above seems objectifying even to me. Do you have a record of success here?
I feel some skepticism that you possess special knowledge on this topic.
I certainly do possess special knowledge on this topic. I have had a loving relationship with a woman for only 8 of the 32 years since I left home for college, so I am qualified to write about the negative psychological effects of girlfriendlessness.
The language above seems objectifying even to me.
Although I tried to avoid objectifying language, I am not surprised to learn that I failed because I have always been bad at predicting what language other people will find objectifying. Clearly I am missing some cognitive capacity that helps other people to make such predictions with much less effort than I can! I requested feedback from Alicorn because it is unusual for me to encounter someone who can describe the cognitive process by which their hearing or reading objectifying language produces aversion as well as she can, but candidly even if she provides the requested feedback, I will probably still be considerably worse than the average 16-year-old at making such predictions. But I keep on trying because even a small improvement in my predictive ability here would pay off big in making me a better communicator.
Parenthetically, since I lack the cognitive capacity to make these kinds of social judgements with little or no conscious effort, I have had to rely on (effortful) deliberative reasoning and my general capacity for mental modeling for what meagre skill I do have. It is my tentative hypothesis that skill that flows from deliberation and mental modeling is easier to transmit than skill that flows from the cognitive capacity I am lacking. That does not mean that I can teach others to predict what language the people around them will find objectify. (I already said that I do not myself have that skill.) But it does mean that perhaps there are some social skills I can transmit more readily than those who are “naturals” in those skills.
Do you have a record of success here?
If you mean, Do I have a record of success in teaching social skills that might help men enter into or stay in loving relationships with women? no I do not. I will run my posts past Hugh Ristik and hopefully a former pickup/ seduction trainer to make up for my lack of experience.
I feel some skepticism that you possess special knowledge on this topic. The language above seems objectifying even to me. Do you have a record of success here?
I certainly do possess special knowledge on this topic. I have had a loving relationship with a woman for only 8 of the 32 years since I left home for college, so I am qualified to write about the negative psychological effects of girlfriendlessness.
Although I tried to avoid objectifying language, I am not surprised to learn that I failed because I have always been bad at predicting what language other people will find objectifying. Clearly I am missing some cognitive capacity that helps other people to make such predictions with much less effort than I can! I requested feedback from Alicorn because it is unusual for me to encounter someone who can describe the cognitive process by which their hearing or reading objectifying language produces aversion as well as she can, but candidly even if she provides the requested feedback, I will probably still be considerably worse than the average 16-year-old at making such predictions. But I keep on trying because even a small improvement in my predictive ability here would pay off big in making me a better communicator.
Parenthetically, since I lack the cognitive capacity to make these kinds of social judgements with little or no conscious effort, I have had to rely on (effortful) deliberative reasoning and my general capacity for mental modeling for what meagre skill I do have. It is my tentative hypothesis that skill that flows from deliberation and mental modeling is easier to transmit than skill that flows from the cognitive capacity I am lacking. That does not mean that I can teach others to predict what language the people around them will find objectify. (I already said that I do not myself have that skill.) But it does mean that perhaps there are some social skills I can transmit more readily than those who are “naturals” in those skills.
If you mean, Do I have a record of success in teaching social skills that might help men enter into or stay in loving relationships with women? no I do not. I will run my posts past Hugh Ristik and hopefully a former pickup/ seduction trainer to make up for my lack of experience.