I agree with basically all of this. Cuteness is a social strategy and defense. I once watched a video which jokingly suggested that cats domesticated humans, using their cuteness as a psychological weapon. But isn’t that fairly close to the truth?
I once reflected on “How do less intelligent people survive in this world?”. I’m a quick learner who take pride in being independent, and even I think life is difficult, so how do regular people cope?
I recently came across this book quote online: “The voice belonged to a plump round-faced woman of the sort that develops a good personality because the alternative is suicide.” In short, “become likable” is the answer.
It hit me quite hard, not only because it put it so bluntly, but because I’m familiar with the sort of people who are pleasant to be around because their past is filled with misfortune and suffering. I think there’s a lot of truth to statements like “There are no beautiful surfaces without a terrible depth”. We create light in order to cope with the darkness, and we like others to the extent that they make life seem more appealing. The reason Japan has so much Slice of Life anime is because of ‘black companies’.
I love cute things myself, also for non-sexual reasons. But it’s not uncommon that trauma and unmet needs result in fetishism and hypersexual behaviour which attempts to fill these needs (often without success—no amount of casual sex will make you feel loved). There’s also a correlation between vulgarity, porn addiction and chronic internet use, and I dislike most of these people because they cannot emulate beautiful things well enough to deceive me (because they project aspects of themselves into their artwork). There is both healthy and unhealthy behaviour involved in these dynamics.
I agree with basically all of this. Cuteness is a social strategy and defense.
(I should have emphasized both of the following points more in the original post, but: For some trans people, it seems to be more about wanting to be beautiful or attractive, rather than cute like an anime girl, as a social strategy/defense. Many of them aren’t into the anime stuff at all, and play more conventional feminine beauty status games, and I think this is sometimes a major reason for that.
Beyond that, there’s probably also self-worth tied up in here too, not just worth in the eyes of others. I.e., if you become a cute anime girl or a beautiful women, maybe you’ll start loving yourself in the way you love them.)
Good comment overall. I think people with miserable pasts do often find ways to stay miserable indefinitely into the future. But on the other hand “bad experiences with reality” are exactly the thing that fosters becoming well-adjusted (to reality, including social reality), a la reinforcement learning. So like, when people do become socially graceful, this is often partly the byproduct of negative experiences with failing to be graceful (alongside positive experiences with the opposite.)
Some people do seek beauty. Beauty has a similar effect to cuteness, people who look good are generally treated better. People probably prefer traits which “feel like them”, and traits which they have a natural advantage at. The goal is to bring out as many real aspects of yourself as you can, and to make them as appealing as possible. Being forced to roleplay as something you’re not is painful, and losing yourself in the process of fitting into a group will make you feel empty. Society is generally correct about this problem, but I think that artistic skills is sufficient to solve it.
I think self-worth is a factor, as you say, but I expect most people to have a hard time accepting themselves unless they can find a community which accepts them.
Finally, yes, suffering can push one towards either extreme. Fetishism also has this dual component—somebody who was abused might become a masochist, but another possibility is that they will search for a partner who is extremely gentle. It depends which side wins the battle, so to speak.
Successful reinforcement learning requires being around people with better taste than yourself, or consuming material made by people with better taste. Sometimes I worry that individuals with good taste might instead be harmed by their environment (I’m friends with a vtuber. I know that her chat will have inappropriate comments, and I know that sexual topics will be rewarded with more engagement). In an abstract sense, I think people want to increase their value, and that graceful behaviour is behaviour which protects value (and treats things as if they have value in order to reinforce the illusion that they have value—the polar opposite of vulgarity/blasphemy/profanity)
I agree with basically all of this. Cuteness is a social strategy and defense. I once watched a video which jokingly suggested that cats domesticated humans, using their cuteness as a psychological weapon. But isn’t that fairly close to the truth?
I once reflected on “How do less intelligent people survive in this world?”. I’m a quick learner who take pride in being independent, and even I think life is difficult, so how do regular people cope?
I recently came across this book quote online: “The voice belonged to a plump round-faced woman of the sort that develops a good personality because the alternative is suicide.” In short, “become likable” is the answer.
It hit me quite hard, not only because it put it so bluntly, but because I’m familiar with the sort of people who are pleasant to be around because their past is filled with misfortune and suffering. I think there’s a lot of truth to statements like “There are no beautiful surfaces without a terrible depth”. We create light in order to cope with the darkness, and we like others to the extent that they make life seem more appealing. The reason Japan has so much Slice of Life anime is because of ‘black companies’.
I love cute things myself, also for non-sexual reasons. But it’s not uncommon that trauma and unmet needs result in fetishism and hypersexual behaviour which attempts to fill these needs (often without success—no amount of casual sex will make you feel loved). There’s also a correlation between vulgarity, porn addiction and chronic internet use, and I dislike most of these people because they cannot emulate beautiful things well enough to deceive me (because they project aspects of themselves into their artwork). There is both healthy and unhealthy behaviour involved in these dynamics.
(I should have emphasized both of the following points more in the original post, but: For some trans people, it seems to be more about wanting to be beautiful or attractive, rather than cute like an anime girl, as a social strategy/defense. Many of them aren’t into the anime stuff at all, and play more conventional feminine beauty status games, and I think this is sometimes a major reason for that.
Beyond that, there’s probably also self-worth tied up in here too, not just worth in the eyes of others. I.e., if you become a cute anime girl or a beautiful women, maybe you’ll start loving yourself in the way you love them.)
Good comment overall. I think people with miserable pasts do often find ways to stay miserable indefinitely into the future. But on the other hand “bad experiences with reality” are exactly the thing that fosters becoming well-adjusted (to reality, including social reality), a la reinforcement learning. So like, when people do become socially graceful, this is often partly the byproduct of negative experiences with failing to be graceful (alongside positive experiences with the opposite.)
Thank you.
Some people do seek beauty. Beauty has a similar effect to cuteness, people who look good are generally treated better. People probably prefer traits which “feel like them”, and traits which they have a natural advantage at. The goal is to bring out as many real aspects of yourself as you can, and to make them as appealing as possible. Being forced to roleplay as something you’re not is painful, and losing yourself in the process of fitting into a group will make you feel empty. Society is generally correct about this problem, but I think that artistic skills is sufficient to solve it.
I think self-worth is a factor, as you say, but I expect most people to have a hard time accepting themselves unless they can find a community which accepts them.
Finally, yes, suffering can push one towards either extreme. Fetishism also has this dual component—somebody who was abused might become a masochist, but another possibility is that they will search for a partner who is extremely gentle. It depends which side wins the battle, so to speak.
Successful reinforcement learning requires being around people with better taste than yourself, or consuming material made by people with better taste. Sometimes I worry that individuals with good taste might instead be harmed by their environment (I’m friends with a vtuber. I know that her chat will have inappropriate comments, and I know that sexual topics will be rewarded with more engagement). In an abstract sense, I think people want to increase their value, and that graceful behaviour is behaviour which protects value (and treats things as if they have value in order to reinforce the illusion that they have value—the polar opposite of vulgarity/blasphemy/profanity)