Second step: do literally anything else other than what the heuristic predicts.
This feels like one of those “draw the rest of the owl” situations—the hard part isn’t recognizing one is stuck in a bar emotional-state to behaviour loop. The hard part is identifying a different action to take.
I think saying “do something else” is unhelpful, especially if someone is tunnelvisioned by a emotional state. Telling them what that something is specifically, ideally using some kind of manneristic verb. It is much easier to replace a behavior that stop it in its tracks. With what though? Even now writing this, I don’t know what is a helpful verb to replace “apologize” with. “Laugh”—well sure, at best you someone with social anxiety nervously laughing who was over-apologizing seconds ago, at worst, you look like you’re having a psychotic break. “Stare”—depends what you stare at—falling silent and focusing your vision on some singular object on your vision to quiet the shame response may stop you from being compelled to apologize.
This seems even less likely to work in a real life situation where a person is already blinkered by their emotional state. Without the opportunity for premeditation for alternatives. Or perhaps I’m just particularly bad at imagining useful alternatives.
This feels like one of those “draw the rest of the owl” situations—the hard part isn’t recognizing one is stuck in a bar emotional-state to behaviour loop. The hard part is identifying a different action to take.
I think saying “do something else” is unhelpful, especially if someone is tunnelvisioned by a emotional state. Telling them what that something is specifically, ideally using some kind of manneristic verb. It is much easier to replace a behavior that stop it in its tracks. With what though? Even now writing this, I don’t know what is a helpful verb to replace “apologize” with. “Laugh”—well sure, at best you someone with social anxiety nervously laughing who was over-apologizing seconds ago, at worst, you look like you’re having a psychotic break. “Stare”—depends what you stare at—falling silent and focusing your vision on some singular object on your vision to quiet the shame response may stop you from being compelled to apologize.
This seems even less likely to work in a real life situation where a person is already blinkered by their emotional state. Without the opportunity for premeditation for alternatives.
Or perhaps I’m just particularly bad at imagining useful alternatives.