This came together really nicely. Something I’d add to #4 is that “venting” when you feel bad is only occasionally useful, and pretty reliably keeps whatever you’re venting about at the front of your consciousness.
A friend pointed out to me that when one feels depressed, one acquires blinders about the past and the future. After he suggested this I started noticing it—on a really bad day, it felt like all days were really bad. If I couldn’t get ahold of someone for some company, no one ever wanted to see me. Noticing this consciously was incredibly valuable, because it led me to second-guess those judgments when I was making them. It became a meta-signal that I was in a funk and needed to get out, like a lucid dreamer taking control: “I haven’t seen anyone in weeks. Wait—that’s not literally true. I was out yesterday. I must be in the mindset where it seems like things have been horrible forever. Okay, time to reach out for what I need to get out of it.” Then I check for hunger or tiredness, fix those if needed, find an activity to distract me, and let someone who cares about me know I’m feeling down so I can get some support. This system isn’t perfect, but it’s a hell of lot better than getting dragged across the floor by a foul mood.
A couple notes of housekeeping: I would suggest adding a summary break, and also putting title caps in your title.
This came together really nicely. Something I’d add to #4 is that “venting” when you feel bad is only occasionally useful, and pretty reliably keeps whatever you’re venting about at the front of your consciousness.
This came together really nicely. Something I’d add to #4 is that “venting” when you feel bad is only occasionally useful, and pretty reliably keeps whatever you’re venting about at the front of your consciousness.
A friend pointed out to me that when one feels depressed, one acquires blinders about the past and the future. After he suggested this I started noticing it—on a really bad day, it felt like all days were really bad. If I couldn’t get ahold of someone for some company, no one ever wanted to see me. Noticing this consciously was incredibly valuable, because it led me to second-guess those judgments when I was making them. It became a meta-signal that I was in a funk and needed to get out, like a lucid dreamer taking control: “I haven’t seen anyone in weeks. Wait—that’s not literally true. I was out yesterday. I must be in the mindset where it seems like things have been horrible forever. Okay, time to reach out for what I need to get out of it.” Then I check for hunger or tiredness, fix those if needed, find an activity to distract me, and let someone who cares about me know I’m feeling down so I can get some support. This system isn’t perfect, but it’s a hell of lot better than getting dragged across the floor by a foul mood.
A couple notes of housekeeping: I would suggest adding a summary break, and also putting title caps in your title.
Related You Are Not So Smart post: Catharsis.