Interesting example—and this will apply for all dilemmas (a specific want isn’t clear) - such as leaving a job/marriage.
I feel an aspect there could be that of the “social default”. The 14 year old both a) wants to ask out their crush; b) maintain their social standing—and has lots of variables surrounding both. Empathizing with that person—if they scour to find their internal wants, they can realize they just really want peace and asking out the crush isn’t worth it, or that they just want fulfillment and apart from an amorphous blob of fear/social rejection/death, they should ask out their crush.
The crux of my argument is, fear is a negative desire, a positive desire stronger than that (jumping in front of the bullet for a loved one) will still dominate. Dilemmas are situations where a single desire may not dominate, so maybe a discovery of priorities are in order.
Interesting example—and this will apply for all dilemmas (a specific want isn’t clear) - such as leaving a job/marriage.
I feel an aspect there could be that of the “social default”. The 14 year old both a) wants to ask out their crush; b) maintain their social standing—and has lots of variables surrounding both. Empathizing with that person—if they scour to find their internal wants, they can realize they just really want peace and asking out the crush isn’t worth it, or that they just want fulfillment and apart from an amorphous blob of fear/social rejection/death, they should ask out their crush.
The crux of my argument is, fear is a negative desire, a positive desire stronger than that (jumping in front of the bullet for a loved one) will still dominate. Dilemmas are situations where a single desire may not dominate, so maybe a discovery of priorities are in order.