I think the line between what’s ethical and unethical in social interactions is really blurry.
Just talking to a friend truthfully about something object level with no hidden intentions or hidden signals seem straightforwardly fine.
The manipulative boyfriend gaslighting her girlfriend and isolating her socially from all other people seems clearly unethical, even if he is doing it subconsciously.
But is e.g. flirting unethical in general? You are sending a bunch of covert/deniable signals, and are trying to manipulate the other person into having sex with you. The object level conversation matters very little to you, it’s all about the verbal and non-verbal subtext. Sounds quite manipulative to me...
In this sense you would probably be treading on very thin ice if you tried to apply John’s model. How much is too much without explicit verbal consent? Can you interpret a verbal “no” differently based on whether it sounds playful? If you apply the model fully, how do you avoid accidentally raping someone? (There are a bunch stories of women getting raped without every saying “no” because they were afraid.)
I think the line between what’s ethical and unethical in social interactions is really blurry.
Just talking to a friend truthfully about something object level with no hidden intentions or hidden signals seem straightforwardly fine.
The manipulative boyfriend gaslighting her girlfriend and isolating her socially from all other people seems clearly unethical, even if he is doing it subconsciously.
But is e.g. flirting unethical in general? You are sending a bunch of covert/deniable signals, and are trying to manipulate the other person into having sex with you. The object level conversation matters very little to you, it’s all about the verbal and non-verbal subtext. Sounds quite manipulative to me...
In this sense you would probably be treading on very thin ice if you tried to apply John’s model. How much is too much without explicit verbal consent? Can you interpret a verbal “no” differently based on whether it sounds playful? If you apply the model fully, how do you avoid accidentally raping someone? (There are a bunch stories of women getting raped without every saying “no” because they were afraid.)