I like, in particular, your explanation for why charity makes you feel good. Reinforcing the sense that you are capable of acting in accordance with your values is very important for well-being.
Just so you can generalize from two examples: I do the same thing in regards to charity. I first started giving in response to a feeling of helplessness and inadequacy. It made me feel much better. It wasn’t, really, about public approval or status—most people don’t know I give, and some of those who do know, make fun of me for it. What’s valuable to me is that it reinforces my sense of being capable of sticking to a principle.
To quibble—maybe using the word “selfish” as purely negative will lead us astray. We don’t really want people to stop thinking of themselves first. After all, people are responsible for themselves first. Fear of being selfish causes a lot of harm and misery, I think.
It’s better to say, instead, that most adults aren’t content with a life of pure hedonism—they have moral principles of some kind. And they’ll be ashamed and miserable if they aren’t acting on the principles they believe in. Given human nature and culture, chances are most people’s principles include an obligation to help others. I’d rather have happy people “selfishly” helping each other because they like it, than have people examining all their actions for “selfish” motives and missing opportunities to do good things because they’re too “selfish.”
I like, in particular, your explanation for why charity makes you feel good. Reinforcing the sense that you are capable of acting in accordance with your values is very important for well-being.
Just so you can generalize from two examples: I do the same thing in regards to charity. I first started giving in response to a feeling of helplessness and inadequacy. It made me feel much better. It wasn’t, really, about public approval or status—most people don’t know I give, and some of those who do know, make fun of me for it. What’s valuable to me is that it reinforces my sense of being capable of sticking to a principle.
To quibble—maybe using the word “selfish” as purely negative will lead us astray. We don’t really want people to stop thinking of themselves first. After all, people are responsible for themselves first. Fear of being selfish causes a lot of harm and misery, I think.
It’s better to say, instead, that most adults aren’t content with a life of pure hedonism—they have moral principles of some kind. And they’ll be ashamed and miserable if they aren’t acting on the principles they believe in. Given human nature and culture, chances are most people’s principles include an obligation to help others. I’d rather have happy people “selfishly” helping each other because they like it, than have people examining all their actions for “selfish” motives and missing opportunities to do good things because they’re too “selfish.”
Thanks for your feedback!
Is your quibble with my post or with one of the links in it?
I largely agree with your last paragraph.