Can you think of examples of mainstream use of the word ‘love’ for which prioritization isn’t an essential component? It seems to me that prioritization is the key thing that binds together what would otherwise be disparate uses of the word, not just in the relationship context. (e.g. the ‘love’ in “I love reading” and “I love my wife” mean very different things, but are both effectively statements of prioritization)
Sure! Christians are pretty mainstream, and they regularly talk about God’s love for them, but in Christian theology, God’s love is for everyone, and so God is not prioritizing anyone.
I admit that’s not a very central example, though, so here’s something more mundane:
I think someone saying “I love cats” is not necessarily a statement of prioritization. Sure, I love cats, but I’m not going out of my way to prioritize cats in general over other things. Although I do prioritize some specific cats, I also love cats in general, and this carries no real burden of prioritization, as I don’t have to love other things less, and my feeling of love for cats doesn’t really go away when I’m thinking about my love for other things.
I think that when you say “I love cats”, you mean more than you prioritize specific cats. At some points, those cats will no longer be with you, and if you are like most cat lovers, likely you will then go on to own and prioritize different cats. So while the cats you prioritize at any moment in time may be specific, if you are like most cat owners, over the course of your life you will generally prioritize cats. (“I choose to eat cake every day above other desserts, but I don’t in general love cake, just the cakes I eat on a given day” sounds like more like someone who loves cake but also loves splitting hairs over word usage, than someone who doesn’t in general love cake.)
I think that, if you ask most people what they actually do in practice as a result of their stated love for cats, you will inevitably get back things that necessarily involve prioritization (mostly of time and/or money), e.g. they have pet cats, they volunteer at an animal shelter, they put food out in their garden for stray cats, and/or so forth. If someone said “I love cats, and I have no real interest in prioritising spending my time, money, energy etc. on owning or thinking about or interacting with cats above other things”, I would find that incongruous and question whether they really do love cats.
I can’t really disagree here, and yet I still feel like you’re leaving out some important component of what love means by just focusing on prioritization. It’s like there’s multiple things going on, and prioritization often gets bundled with love in everyday use, but you can love without prioritization, that’s just not what most people do.
Can you think of examples of mainstream use of the word ‘love’ for which prioritization isn’t an essential component? It seems to me that prioritization is the key thing that binds together what would otherwise be disparate uses of the word, not just in the relationship context. (e.g. the ‘love’ in “I love reading” and “I love my wife” mean very different things, but are both effectively statements of prioritization)
Sure! Christians are pretty mainstream, and they regularly talk about God’s love for them, but in Christian theology, God’s love is for everyone, and so God is not prioritizing anyone.
I admit that’s not a very central example, though, so here’s something more mundane:
I think someone saying “I love cats” is not necessarily a statement of prioritization. Sure, I love cats, but I’m not going out of my way to prioritize cats in general over other things. Although I do prioritize some specific cats, I also love cats in general, and this carries no real burden of prioritization, as I don’t have to love other things less, and my feeling of love for cats doesn’t really go away when I’m thinking about my love for other things.
I think that when you say “I love cats”, you mean more than you prioritize specific cats. At some points, those cats will no longer be with you, and if you are like most cat lovers, likely you will then go on to own and prioritize different cats. So while the cats you prioritize at any moment in time may be specific, if you are like most cat owners, over the course of your life you will generally prioritize cats. (“I choose to eat cake every day above other desserts, but I don’t in general love cake, just the cakes I eat on a given day” sounds like more like someone who loves cake but also loves splitting hairs over word usage, than someone who doesn’t in general love cake.)
I think that, if you ask most people what they actually do in practice as a result of their stated love for cats, you will inevitably get back things that necessarily involve prioritization (mostly of time and/or money), e.g. they have pet cats, they volunteer at an animal shelter, they put food out in their garden for stray cats, and/or so forth. If someone said “I love cats, and I have no real interest in prioritising spending my time, money, energy etc. on owning or thinking about or interacting with cats above other things”, I would find that incongruous and question whether they really do love cats.
I can’t really disagree here, and yet I still feel like you’re leaving out some important component of what love means by just focusing on prioritization. It’s like there’s multiple things going on, and prioritization often gets bundled with love in everyday use, but you can love without prioritization, that’s just not what most people do.