I also had a block around “convincing other people of anything.”
Aughhh, yes. That rings true!
What I ended up doing that gave me a big breakthrough was HAMMER the person repeatedly; whenever the other person (for example, my aspie husband) was like “this is wrong because of X” and they hadn’t accounted something, I could be like “No, I don’t think so because of Y.” (or, funnier, “Actually, I think it MIGHT be wrong because of X, but I want to make sure you know about Y, because I think you don’t.”)
Also remain very ready to turn around, and not be afraid of people’s threats of anger. (This required extensive community formation to get to… and I may not even be there yet, but standing up and opening my mouth—at the RIGHT MOMENT in the right way—seemed good.)
The tension of always being meek and ready to pivot to genuinely caring about your interlocutor’s (claimed) emotions when they say (or signal) they’re sincerly upset b/c of something you said... ...and also to say in my heart, (for a hypothetical example if it’s some woman I’m quarreling with), “this person said she was truth-seeking; I am going to loop back to her about how 1 thing might not have been accounted with her evidence. Even if it’s unnecessary for the plan going forward, even it it’ll look like nitpicking—it’ll build her trust of me in the future if she’s genuinely liking truth more than her own comfortableness.”
Aughhh, yes. That rings true!
What I ended up doing that gave me a big breakthrough was HAMMER the person repeatedly; whenever the other person (for example, my aspie husband) was like “this is wrong because of X” and they hadn’t accounted something, I could be like “No, I don’t think so because of Y.”
(or, funnier, “Actually, I think it MIGHT be wrong because of X, but I want to make sure you know about Y, because I think you don’t.”)
Also remain very ready to turn around, and not be afraid of people’s threats of anger. (This required extensive community formation to get to… and I may not even be there yet, but standing up and opening my mouth—at the RIGHT MOMENT in the right way—seemed good.)
The tension of always being meek and ready to pivot to genuinely caring about your interlocutor’s (claimed) emotions when they say (or signal) they’re sincerly upset b/c of something you said...
...and also to say in my heart, (for a hypothetical example if it’s some woman I’m quarreling with), “this person said she was truth-seeking; I am going to loop back to her about how 1 thing might not have been accounted with her evidence. Even if it’s unnecessary for the plan going forward, even it it’ll look like nitpicking—it’ll build her trust of me in the future if she’s genuinely liking truth more than her own comfortableness.”