Active listening is always a good start. One does not need to agree or express any opinion whatsoever, just empathize with the other person, by restating what they say in your own words, asking/naming the feelings they might have, and making them feel understood. In your example:
more gun control; Y = less gun control; R = people unable to defend themselves and having their rights taken away; H = increased risk of mass shootings, suicides, and children shooting themselves or others.
“I can see why gun control is important to you. Mass shootings, suicides and accidental deaths are terrible, and you are making a good point that easy availability of guns leads to more of these awful events. And you are saying that more gun control would make it harder to get guns and lower the odds of someone using them, especially accidentally or impulsively. Is that what you are saying? Please correct me if I missed or misstated something.”
“The potential future you are describing, where law-abiding citizens are unable to defend themselves from armed criminals, or worse are unable to resist when their rights taken away by the government agencies, does sound pretty scary. Looks like your point is that more gun control would be a step toward such a future, and you find this possibility terrifying. Is this a fair summary?”
Before you can logic with someone, they need to feel safe with you emotionally. This applies to most people, whether aspiring rationalists or not. Active listening is a good way to cross this emotional distance. Your own views and opinions can be expressed after, and do not have to be forceful, more like a point to bring up and ask them to consider it and the arguments they can help you evaluate. There is no guarantee of them changing their mind, or you changing yours, or any convergence whatsoever, but at least you will remain friendly and can go for a beer together after.
Active listening is always a good start. One does not need to agree or express any opinion whatsoever, just empathize with the other person, by restating what they say in your own words, asking/naming the feelings they might have, and making them feel understood. In your example:
“I can see why gun control is important to you. Mass shootings, suicides and accidental deaths are terrible, and you are making a good point that easy availability of guns leads to more of these awful events. And you are saying that more gun control would make it harder to get guns and lower the odds of someone using them, especially accidentally or impulsively. Is that what you are saying? Please correct me if I missed or misstated something.”
“The potential future you are describing, where law-abiding citizens are unable to defend themselves from armed criminals, or worse are unable to resist when their rights taken away by the government agencies, does sound pretty scary. Looks like your point is that more gun control would be a step toward such a future, and you find this possibility terrifying. Is this a fair summary?”
Before you can logic with someone, they need to feel safe with you emotionally. This applies to most people, whether aspiring rationalists or not. Active listening is a good way to cross this emotional distance. Your own views and opinions can be expressed after, and do not have to be forceful, more like a point to bring up and ask them to consider it and the arguments they can help you evaluate. There is no guarantee of them changing their mind, or you changing yours, or any convergence whatsoever, but at least you will remain friendly and can go for a beer together after.