I recently experienced that—or rather, realized I hadn’t experienced that. I just assumed people were exaggerating, and then, wham, blindsided by love! It’s been very jarring ^^;
(My experience of “love” doesn’t line up exactly with limerence, but was a very substantial shift from what I’d previously labelled “love”.)
The funny thing is that after reading it I realise the article you mentioned may also lead to generalising from one example. In my case there’s someone in my life whom the author would probably consider as my limerent object, based on the ‘outward signs’ that someone would be able to pick up as mentioned. However, to me I personally don’t really care so much as to whether it’s reciprocated, and also in a way don’t really have a way to stop it from my end. That is, I cannot will myself to stop caring. I can also perceive in quite a balanced manner the person’s attributes, but can never apply this to more than one person at a time, and it also causes me to leave other concerns in the background.
Essentially, a state that is a mix of both the elements described as love and limerence.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that they’re collapsing a spectrum into two concepts at the extremes, whereas in human experience it’s quite likely that there are many feelings in between.
It is true, at least for me (don’t know how many other people have this experience). I have never experienced romantic love. I am in my late twenties, so this is not a result of youth. I do experience platonic love. I’m the only one in my family I know of who is like this. I have no desire to experience romantic love personally. However, I am glad for others when their romantic relationships work out, and can still enjoy romantic elements in a story, etc.
Good post; as another example, I read recently that many people never experience an emotion that some other people conceptualize as romantic love. Don’t know if it’s true though.
ETA: changed “the” to “an” after Phil’s reply.
I’d be surprised if there is one single “emotion that some other people conceptualize as romantic love”.
Edited to change “the” to “an”.
I recently experienced that—or rather, realized I hadn’t experienced that. I just assumed people were exaggerating, and then, wham, blindsided by love! It’s been very jarring ^^;
(My experience of “love” doesn’t line up exactly with limerence, but was a very substantial shift from what I’d previously labelled “love”.)
The funny thing is that after reading it I realise the article you mentioned may also lead to generalising from one example. In my case there’s someone in my life whom the author would probably consider as my limerent object, based on the ‘outward signs’ that someone would be able to pick up as mentioned. However, to me I personally don’t really care so much as to whether it’s reciprocated, and also in a way don’t really have a way to stop it from my end. That is, I cannot will myself to stop caring. I can also perceive in quite a balanced manner the person’s attributes, but can never apply this to more than one person at a time, and it also causes me to leave other concerns in the background.
Essentially, a state that is a mix of both the elements described as love and limerence.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that they’re collapsing a spectrum into two concepts at the extremes, whereas in human experience it’s quite likely that there are many feelings in between.
It is true, at least for me (don’t know how many other people have this experience). I have never experienced romantic love. I am in my late twenties, so this is not a result of youth. I do experience platonic love. I’m the only one in my family I know of who is like this. I have no desire to experience romantic love personally. However, I am glad for others when their romantic relationships work out, and can still enjoy romantic elements in a story, etc.