They don’t laugh nervously, don’t give tiny signals that they are malleable and interested in conforming to your opinion or worldview.
This sounds not-quite-right as pointed out by others, but I feel like I kind of recognize it. It’s natural for people to adapt to others or be influenced by others, like shifting their accents, adjusting to others’ preferred communication styles, or taking an interest in something because your friend is enthusiastic about it. It can be odd to meet people who don’t do that. And if someone you interact with regularly shows zero inclination to being influenced/affected by you (for example when you speak they just pretend to acknowledge it and then proceed to ignore everything you said, brushing off your concerns without trying to explain it to you instead of e.g. trying to understand what you’re saying or modifying their explanations based on your questions) or it happens only when they feel like it, then it can feel like you’re not really a person, just an object or plaything in their world? It’s not necessarily malicious though.
My current takeaway from this is to recognize that adjusting/adapting to others is a thing that people may or may not do, so we can notice when someone isn’t reciprocating and decide on a response, rather than thinking the problem lies with us and continuing to make things worse.
A more general version would be that it is a choice to follow “social rules” like being polite, listening to your coach, or reciprocating when someone helps you. If the other party isn’t acting in good faith (e.g. rude salesman, abusive coach, con man), then you can choose not to follow the rules (and deal with the consequences, whatever they may be).
This sounds not-quite-right as pointed out by others, but I feel like I kind of recognize it. It’s natural for people to adapt to others or be influenced by others, like shifting their accents, adjusting to others’ preferred communication styles, or taking an interest in something because your friend is enthusiastic about it. It can be odd to meet people who don’t do that. And if someone you interact with regularly shows zero inclination to being influenced/affected by you (for example when you speak they just pretend to acknowledge it and then proceed to ignore everything you said, brushing off your concerns without trying to explain it to you instead of e.g. trying to understand what you’re saying or modifying their explanations based on your questions) or it happens only when they feel like it, then it can feel like you’re not really a person, just an object or plaything in their world? It’s not necessarily malicious though.
My current takeaway from this is to recognize that adjusting/adapting to others is a thing that people may or may not do, so we can notice when someone isn’t reciprocating and decide on a response, rather than thinking the problem lies with us and continuing to make things worse.
A more general version would be that it is a choice to follow “social rules” like being polite, listening to your coach, or reciprocating when someone helps you. If the other party isn’t acting in good faith (e.g. rude salesman, abusive coach, con man), then you can choose not to follow the rules (and deal with the consequences, whatever they may be).