regarding the third point, my interpretation of this part was very different: “I don’t have this for any other human flaw—people with terrible communication skills, traumatized people who lash out, anxious, needy people who will try to soak the life out of you, furious dox-prone people on the internet—I believe there’s an empathic route forward. Not so with frame control.”
I read is as “I’m not very vulnerable to those types of wrongness, that all have the same absolute value in some linear space, but I’m vulnerable to frame control, and believe the nuclear option is justified and people should feel OK while using it”.
I, personally, not especially vulnerable to frame control. my reaction to the examples are in the form of “there is a lot to unpack here, but let’s just burn the whole suitcase”. they struck me as manipulative, and done with Badwill. as such, they set alarm in my mind, and in such cases, this alarm neutralize 90% of the harm.
my theory regarding things like that, all the cluster of hard-to-pinpoint manipulations, is that understanding it is power. i read a lot and now i tend to recognize such things. as such, I’m not especially vulnerable to that, and don’t have the burn-it-with-fire reaction. i have more of a “agh, this person, it’s impossible to talk to them” reaction. I find dox-prone, needy, lash-out people much more problematic to deal with.
i have zero personal knowledge of the writer, but the feeling i get from the post is that she will agree with me. she will tell me that if I can be around frame controller and not being harmed is OK, and if can’t be around needy person it’s OK. I will avoid the needy one, and she the frame-controller. I less sure she will agree with me about the way different people can tolerate different vectors of badness different, and allowing one kind force everyone vulnerable to it be harmed or avoid the place.
but the general feeling i got is not “writer is good at spotting and we should burn it with fire” and more “you should listen to the part of you that telling you that SOMETHING IS WRONG, and it’s legitimate to take it seriously and act on it”. and it promote culture that acknowledge that as legitimate, allow such person to avoid other persons, not trying to guilt-trip them or surprise them with the frame-controller presence or do other unfriendly things people do sometimes.
as in, I didn’t see burn-with-fire-frame-controllers promoted as community strategy, but as personal strategy. personal strategy that now may encounter active resistance from the community, and should not encounter such resistance.
regarding the third point, my interpretation of this part was very different: “I don’t have this for any other human flaw—people with terrible communication skills, traumatized people who lash out, anxious, needy people who will try to soak the life out of you, furious dox-prone people on the internet—I believe there’s an empathic route forward. Not so with frame control.”
I read is as “I’m not very vulnerable to those types of wrongness, that all have the same absolute value in some linear space, but I’m vulnerable to frame control, and believe the nuclear option is justified and people should feel OK while using it”.
I, personally, not especially vulnerable to frame control. my reaction to the examples are in the form of “there is a lot to unpack here, but let’s just burn the whole suitcase”. they struck me as manipulative, and done with Badwill. as such, they set alarm in my mind, and in such cases, this alarm neutralize 90% of the harm.
my theory regarding things like that, all the cluster of hard-to-pinpoint manipulations, is that understanding it is power. i read a lot and now i tend to recognize such things. as such, I’m not especially vulnerable to that, and don’t have the burn-it-with-fire reaction. i have more of a “agh, this person, it’s impossible to talk to them” reaction. I find dox-prone, needy, lash-out people much more problematic to deal with.
i have zero personal knowledge of the writer, but the feeling i get from the post is that she will agree with me. she will tell me that if I can be around frame controller and not being harmed is OK, and if can’t be around needy person it’s OK. I will avoid the needy one, and she the frame-controller. I less sure she will agree with me about the way different people can tolerate different vectors of badness different, and allowing one kind force everyone vulnerable to it be harmed or avoid the place.
but the general feeling i got is not “writer is good at spotting and we should burn it with fire” and more “you should listen to the part of you that telling you that SOMETHING IS WRONG, and it’s legitimate to take it seriously and act on it”. and it promote culture that acknowledge that as legitimate, allow such person to avoid other persons, not trying to guilt-trip them or surprise them with the frame-controller presence or do other unfriendly things people do sometimes.
as in, I didn’t see burn-with-fire-frame-controllers promoted as community strategy, but as personal strategy. personal strategy that now may encounter active resistance from the community, and should not encounter such resistance.