I find it very puzzling how people can get used to so much lying and casual disrespect for each other’s intelligence. I’m looking at it from the “privileged” viewpoint of someone who never entered the world of dating or sex, nor would’ve had much to offer in it, and thus didn’t bear its costs, but I expect a lot of people to consider the very fact that you feel the need to give someone a fake phone number, as opposed to simply refusing, or to pretend you don’t have your phone with you, a gigantic red flag and a sign that there are an awful lot of much better things you could be doing than being in that place interacting with that person.
Measly pieces of knowledge I’ve gathered so far:
The man probably just wants to get into the woman’s pants and to show and defend his masculinity and his status. He needs to look tough, and hence can’t let his lack of mutual trust with the woman visibly bother him; that’s why he doesn’t appear to think twice if given the chance before inserting a pretty vulnerable part of his body into an orifice whose unenthusiastic owner could’ve set up any number of nasty surprises in the way. This also probably implies he can’t afford to respect the woman very much.
The woman..., well, I have no idea what she wants in the first place. If asked, she’ll probably say she just wants to have a good time, making a point to look down on all those sex-starved men who fall dismally short of her standards, as if they don’t know there’s more to life than sex. Of course, her own sexual drive is not contemptible at all, and neither is that of the men she does find attractive. She obviously has no respect for the man she’s interacting with. She might fear him, and—unlike in a man—this fear may be high-status, since it signals her desirability and her ability to summon allies eager to mop the floor with any lowlife who distresses her.
I read the great-great-grandparent as giving your number so the other person can ring you at any time if they so wish, not as pressuring them to ring you immediately. I think this removes any incentive to give you a fake number, unless, of course, the other person wants to mess with you by getting you to call someone you really, really don’t want to call—perhaps to get back at you for wasting their time with a long interaction they didn’t dare stop?
I’m definitely not the first person in history with these thoughts, so it’s extremely likely that measures have been taken all the time to enable people to get to know one another without so many barriers to honest communication. Access to such an environment is itself a privilege, of course; therefore, if you’re not desirable enough, any difficulty to get into those environments, or even to learn they exist, is a feature, not a bug.
I find it very puzzling how people can get used to so much lying and casual disrespect for each other’s intelligence. I’m looking at it from the “privileged” viewpoint of someone who never entered the world of dating or sex, nor would’ve had much to offer in it, and thus didn’t bear its costs, but I expect a lot of people to consider the very fact that you feel the need to give someone a fake phone number, as opposed to simply refusing, or to pretend you don’t have your phone with you, a gigantic red flag and a sign that there are an awful lot of much better things you could be doing than being in that place interacting with that person.
Measly pieces of knowledge I’ve gathered so far:
The man probably just wants to get into the woman’s pants and to show and defend his masculinity and his status. He needs to look tough, and hence can’t let his lack of mutual trust with the woman visibly bother him; that’s why he doesn’t appear to think twice if given the chance before inserting a pretty vulnerable part of his body into an orifice whose unenthusiastic owner could’ve set up any number of nasty surprises in the way. This also probably implies he can’t afford to respect the woman very much.
The woman..., well, I have no idea what she wants in the first place. If asked, she’ll probably say she just wants to have a good time, making a point to look down on all those sex-starved men who fall dismally short of her standards, as if they don’t know there’s more to life than sex. Of course, her own sexual drive is not contemptible at all, and neither is that of the men she does find attractive. She obviously has no respect for the man she’s interacting with. She might fear him, and—unlike in a man—this fear may be high-status, since it signals her desirability and her ability to summon allies eager to mop the floor with any lowlife who distresses her.
I read the great-great-grandparent as giving your number so the other person can ring you at any time if they so wish, not as pressuring them to ring you immediately. I think this removes any incentive to give you a fake number, unless, of course, the other person wants to mess with you by getting you to call someone you really, really don’t want to call—perhaps to get back at you for wasting their time with a long interaction they didn’t dare stop?
I’m definitely not the first person in history with these thoughts, so it’s extremely likely that measures have been taken all the time to enable people to get to know one another without so many barriers to honest communication. Access to such an environment is itself a privilege, of course; therefore, if you’re not desirable enough, any difficulty to get into those environments, or even to learn they exist, is a feature, not a bug.