I’ve noticed this trend myself. I also see it most frequently amongst my upper-middle-class friends (as opposed to lower-middle or working class friends). Amongst said group, just passing or even passing well isn’t enough—you have to be top of the class, or you aren’t anybody special.
It’s an extremely judgmental attitude and very difficult to live up to. I don’t know about the men, but it seems to makes for hyperactive, control freak women… or for early nervous breakdowns. Nasty destructive cycles crop up pretty often too.
Three books on common, inhumanly stringent standards.
Compassion and Self-Hate by Theodore Rubin. (Self-hatred as a semi-autonomous mental habit, with compassion as the only way out)
I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t) by Brene Brown. (Women and shame, with a claim that women are haunted by incompatible standards, while men are haunted by a single unachievable standard—I’m not sure this is true, but I’m keeping an eye out for evidence one way or the other. )
Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: The Frightening New Normalcy of Hating Your Body by Courntey Martin (Eating disorders among high-achieving young women.)
I’ve noticed this trend myself. I also see it most frequently amongst my upper-middle-class friends (as opposed to lower-middle or working class friends). Amongst said group, just passing or even passing well isn’t enough—you have to be top of the class, or you aren’t anybody special.
It’s an extremely judgmental attitude and very difficult to live up to. I don’t know about the men, but it seems to makes for hyperactive, control freak women… or for early nervous breakdowns. Nasty destructive cycles crop up pretty often too.
Three books on common, inhumanly stringent standards.
Compassion and Self-Hate by Theodore Rubin. (Self-hatred as a semi-autonomous mental habit, with compassion as the only way out)
I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t) by Brene Brown. (Women and shame, with a claim that women are haunted by incompatible standards, while men are haunted by a single unachievable standard—I’m not sure this is true, but I’m keeping an eye out for evidence one way or the other. )
Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: The Frightening New Normalcy of Hating Your Body by Courntey Martin (Eating disorders among high-achieving young women.)