For John’s reference, the wikipedia article on the comma splice might help.
Also, consider reading while paying attention to your breath. Chopping apart sentences which cannot be completed in a single breath may improve readability. A more complete theory along those lines was linked on LW long ago; my cursory search failed to turn it up.
Good review, but it would be easier to read if you added some commas and changed some existing commas to semicolons.
For John’s reference, the wikipedia article on the comma splice might help.
Also, consider reading while paying attention to your breath. Chopping apart sentences which cannot be completed in a single breath may improve readability. A more complete theory along those lines was linked on LW long ago; my cursory search failed to turn it up.