Yeah I was having a really rough time trying to find a good synthesis. I think I arrived at my current setup because my default behaviors are pretty good if and only if I’m not freaking out about how I’m coming across; I think this is broadly typical but definitely not universal.
Agreed that there is an important difference between trying to force a specific micro-scale interaction to go well (no! bad!) vs trying to set up rules in such a way that interactions go well for you in general.
Yeah I was having a really rough time trying to find a good synthesis. I think I arrived at my current setup because my default behaviors are pretty good if and only if I’m not freaking out about how I’m coming across; I think this is broadly typical but definitely not universal.
Agreed that there is an important difference between trying to force a specific micro-scale interaction to go well (no! bad!) vs trying to set up rules in such a way that interactions go well for you in general.