Maria likes compliments. She loves compliments. And when she doesn’t get enough of them to suit her, she starts fishing, asking plaintive questions, making doe eyes to draw them out. It’s starting to annoy people. Lately, instead of compliments, she’s getting barbs and criticism and snappish remarks. It hurts—and it seems to hurt her more than it hurts others when they hear similar things. Maria wants to know what it is about her that would explain all of this. So she starts taking personality tests and looking for different styles of maintaining and thinking about relationships, looking for something that describes her. Eventually, she runs into a concept called “love languages” and realizes at once that she’s a “words” person. Her friends aren’t trying to hurt her—they don’t realize how much she thrives on compliments, or how deeply insults can cut when they’re dealing with someone who transmits affection verbally. Armed with this concept, she has a lens through which to interpret patterns of her own behavior; she also has a way to explain herself to her loved ones and get the wordy boosts she needs.
Cross-posted from Seven Shiny Stories
1. Words
Maria likes compliments. She loves compliments. And when she doesn’t get enough of them to suit her, she starts fishing, asking plaintive questions, making doe eyes to draw them out. It’s starting to annoy people. Lately, instead of compliments, she’s getting barbs and criticism and snappish remarks. It hurts—and it seems to hurt her more than it hurts others when they hear similar things. Maria wants to know what it is about her that would explain all of this. So she starts taking personality tests and looking for different styles of maintaining and thinking about relationships, looking for something that describes her. Eventually, she runs into a concept called “love languages” and realizes at once that she’s a “words” person. Her friends aren’t trying to hurt her—they don’t realize how much she thrives on compliments, or how deeply insults can cut when they’re dealing with someone who transmits affection verbally. Armed with this concept, she has a lens through which to interpret patterns of her own behavior; she also has a way to explain herself to her loved ones and get the wordy boosts she needs.