it helps to ask about specific situations (“Do you think I’m just tired?” “Was I over the line back there?”) rather than general traits that feel more judgmental to discuss (“Am I a jerk?” “Do I use people?”).
I found this suggestion extremely helpful for getting useful feedback. At first I began with asking general questions which not only felt judgmental to the friends I asked, but were also difficult to answer. Asking a very broad question made them draw a blank—nothing specific came to mind, only vague images of how they felt like I usually acted. Whereas when I asked about specific situations, they had something concrete to base their responses off of. Going situation by situation, they were able to clearly describe how I acted and what impression it gave off, with greater detail.
I found this suggestion extremely helpful for getting useful feedback. At first I began with asking general questions which not only felt judgmental to the friends I asked, but were also difficult to answer. Asking a very broad question made them draw a blank—nothing specific came to mind, only vague images of how they felt like I usually acted. Whereas when I asked about specific situations, they had something concrete to base their responses off of. Going situation by situation, they were able to clearly describe how I acted and what impression it gave off, with greater detail.