Took a bit after reading your babyeater pieces to get my thoughts in order, but my general picture is that you’re mis-representing the human condition, and that the whole of the story relies upon that misrepresentation. This is humanity you’re talking about. While the readership of OB may match your profile decently, the human species, even extended into a moderately improved state does not hold the value-set you represent.
Child-love/protection is (a) proximity-focused, (b) stronger than abstract value of reciprocity. Folks are much better at getting over the idea that other folks are suffering than you give credit for. Hence the trade-off between superhappies modifying humans and humans saving baby-eater kids is a no-brainer. Nuke the local nova. Or better, point at a fundamental incompatibility between Baby-eater and Human ideology...that the SH plan misunderstands.
Us vs. Them is under-done as well. Ender’s choice...where someone protects human species, even at the cost of the other species, and then is later vilified by self and others is much more likely. Nuke the local nova.
As far as I can tell, the story says starlines are dense and unpredictable, not that there’s no other path. So...nuking Huygens star is too big a risk/cost for the uncertainty that baby-eaters will find another path. Nuke local, or don’t bother.
Overall, I enjoyed it.