True: and you can also impose ‘drinking less’ through saying ‘I will drink a pint of water between each alcoholic drink’ or ’I will drink no more than X drinks a week.
When I saw this response, I thought you’d missed my point, but actually I think you’ve put your finger on the nub of the issue: my successes are to do with highly specific, clear-cut things that involve total abstinence on one front. Obviously the specific side helps in itself, and all-out approaches aren’t necessary. But I find it easier to stick to the all-out ones for some reason.
But I find it easier to stick to the all-out ones for some reason.
In the short run. Until it becomes really, really inconvenient to never drink, even when all your friends are drinking and you’re sober and bored to death, or never eat junk food, even when the junk food in question is your best friend’s birthday cake. All-or-nothing is much easier for periods of days to weeks, because it stops you from negotiating with yourself. The danger of all-or-nothing, though, is that if you do eat your friend’s birthday cake, or drink with your friends, it might be harder to go straight back to all-or-nothing the next day. Whereas a five-year-old habit of ‘only drinking when everyone else is, to a maximum of twice a week, and spacing each drink half an hour apart to a maximum of five drinks per night’ could accomodate this.
When I try to generate a new habit, I usually ask myself “Do I want to keep this up for the rest of my life?” and “Would it even benefit me to keep it up for the rest of my life?” If not, the initial habit needs re-shaping.
True: and you can also impose ‘drinking less’ through saying ‘I will drink a pint of water between each alcoholic drink’ or ’I will drink no more than X drinks a week.
When I saw this response, I thought you’d missed my point, but actually I think you’ve put your finger on the nub of the issue: my successes are to do with highly specific, clear-cut things that involve total abstinence on one front. Obviously the specific side helps in itself, and all-out approaches aren’t necessary. But I find it easier to stick to the all-out ones for some reason.
In the short run. Until it becomes really, really inconvenient to never drink, even when all your friends are drinking and you’re sober and bored to death, or never eat junk food, even when the junk food in question is your best friend’s birthday cake. All-or-nothing is much easier for periods of days to weeks, because it stops you from negotiating with yourself. The danger of all-or-nothing, though, is that if you do eat your friend’s birthday cake, or drink with your friends, it might be harder to go straight back to all-or-nothing the next day. Whereas a five-year-old habit of ‘only drinking when everyone else is, to a maximum of twice a week, and spacing each drink half an hour apart to a maximum of five drinks per night’ could accomodate this.
When I try to generate a new habit, I usually ask myself “Do I want to keep this up for the rest of my life?” and “Would it even benefit me to keep it up for the rest of my life?” If not, the initial habit needs re-shaping.
This is an excellent point. And where the absolute ones often do fall down, as mentioned above.