If someone says “Hi, I’m Sandy, I’m bi-poly-switch,” and you can say, “Nice to meet you, Sandy! I’m Chris, I’m straight-mono-vanilla,” you may not have compatible bits set, but you’re ① speaking the same dialect, ② in a social context where that dialect can be spoken, ③ and not running away. That’s an okay start for a subcultural connection.
If someone says “Hi, I’m Sandy, I’m bi-poly-switch,” and you can say, “Nice to meet you, Sandy! I’m Chris, I’m straight-mono-vanilla,” you may not have compatible bits set, but you’re ① speaking the same dialect, ② in a social context where that dialect can be spoken, ③ and not running away. That’s an okay start for a subcultural connection.