About footnote #5 on arranged vs love marriages...
While the distribution for compatibility when finding a partner is long tailed, if the distribution for marginal gain on investing into an existing relationship is also as long tailed, then the comparative advantage sorta cancels out and you’re not as much better off looking harder vs developing the relationships you already have.
This sorta fits my experience too, where being vulnerable and putting in the work is occasionally given me large improvements in relationship satisfaction that I never expected based on the median improvement I get for each unit of work.
About footnote #5 on arranged vs love marriages...
While the distribution for compatibility when finding a partner is long tailed, if the distribution for marginal gain on investing into an existing relationship is also as long tailed, then the comparative advantage sorta cancels out and you’re not as much better off looking harder vs developing the relationships you already have.
This sorta fits my experience too, where being vulnerable and putting in the work is occasionally given me large improvements in relationship satisfaction that I never expected based on the median improvement I get for each unit of work.