I think an important point that I’ve seen raised a bunch with at least pairwise attempts to help people is that often the attempts to help are geared toward decide/act when what the other party really needs is help orienting properly.
I’d claim that “skipping the orient step” is actually the source of a lot of people’s persistent problems. Using the wrong heuristic, rounding off the interaction to a nearby stereotype, trying what’s worked in other domains inappropriately, springing into action when maybe you can just solve the problem with stoicism, etc.
I like your list of orientation possibilities re: conversation; I think explicitly practicing the “are there other orientations I could have?” move is going to produce pretty solid results for most people.
“I’d claim that “skipping the orient step” is actually the source of a lot of people’s persistent problems”—in total agreement. I edited the sentence to say, it is very easy to skip the orientation step “without noticing” because what I wrote before was ambiguous.
I think an important point that I’ve seen raised a bunch with at least pairwise attempts to help people is that often the attempts to help are geared toward decide/act when what the other party really needs is help orienting properly.
I’d claim that “skipping the orient step” is actually the source of a lot of people’s persistent problems. Using the wrong heuristic, rounding off the interaction to a nearby stereotype, trying what’s worked in other domains inappropriately, springing into action when maybe you can just solve the problem with stoicism, etc.
I like your list of orientation possibilities re: conversation; I think explicitly practicing the “are there other orientations I could have?” move is going to produce pretty solid results for most people.
“I’d claim that “skipping the orient step” is actually the source of a lot of people’s persistent problems”—in total agreement. I edited the sentence to say, it is very easy to skip the orientation step “without noticing” because what I wrote before was ambiguous.