You would be amazed at what lengths many go to never learn.
Ever heard the saying (variously attributed) that A level people want to be around other A level people while B level people want to be around C level people?
A lot of those B level people are ones who stop getting better because they believe themselves to already be good. And they would prefer to surround themselves with people who confirm that belief than risk challenging themselves.
Furthermore, it is easier to maintain illusions of superior competency when it isn’t competitive. It was a lot easier for me to hide from ways in which I was a bad husband than to hide from the fact that I was losing at chess. There isn’t really an objective measure of being a poor husband. And continuing doing what I already did was constant evidence to me that I was a good husband. So my illusions continued until some of the same problems showed up in my next relationship.
You would be amazed at what lengths many go to never learn.
Ever heard the saying (variously attributed) that A level people want to be around other A level people while B level people want to be around C level people?
A lot of those B level people are ones who stop getting better because they believe themselves to already be good. And they would prefer to surround themselves with people who confirm that belief than risk challenging themselves.
Furthermore, it is easier to maintain illusions of superior competency when it isn’t competitive. It was a lot easier for me to hide from ways in which I was a bad husband than to hide from the fact that I was losing at chess. There isn’t really an objective measure of being a poor husband. And continuing doing what I already did was constant evidence to me that I was a good husband. So my illusions continued until some of the same problems showed up in my next relationship.