It might make sense to work through that as a priority. I’ve talked it over with my wife and parents, who have a different outlook. My mom is a neuroscientist; it’s in her case that it’s most disturbing not to reach the same conclusions. However, all have clearly come out in support; respecting my wishes and plans would take priority.
Well, you know, that’s kind of what I expect from a relationship of love and trust: that it can weather some quirks of mine, not fall apart at the first such. I’d expect an initial “ugh” reaction to unexpected and offputting news on my part, but I would also expect them to keep right on accepting me.
The usual tactics should work: “I know it’s weird but I have an online friend who’s definitely signing up, and when we discussed his/her motivations they seemed actually quite reasonable, I’m thinking about it a lot”.
If someone won’t accept that you are an independent thinker and make your own mind about things, and thinks less of you for that—that in itself is telling something about the relationship; better know where you stand.
Those are all very good points, thank you. I strongly agree with all of that, with the exception of:
The usual tactics should work: “I know it’s weird but I have an online friend who’s definitely signing up, and when we discussed his/her motivations they seemed actually quite reasonable, I’m thinking about it a lot”.
I don’t know how effective this really is, but I’m skeptical of this approach because “I read it on the Internet” is generally not a good arguing tactic.
It might make sense to work through that as a priority. I’ve talked it over with my wife and parents, who have a different outlook. My mom is a neuroscientist; it’s in her case that it’s most disturbing not to reach the same conclusions. However, all have clearly come out in support; respecting my wishes and plans would take priority.
Well, you know, that’s kind of what I expect from a relationship of love and trust: that it can weather some quirks of mine, not fall apart at the first such. I’d expect an initial “ugh” reaction to unexpected and offputting news on my part, but I would also expect them to keep right on accepting me.
The usual tactics should work: “I know it’s weird but I have an online friend who’s definitely signing up, and when we discussed his/her motivations they seemed actually quite reasonable, I’m thinking about it a lot”.
If someone won’t accept that you are an independent thinker and make your own mind about things, and thinks less of you for that—that in itself is telling something about the relationship; better know where you stand.
Those are all very good points, thank you. I strongly agree with all of that, with the exception of:
I don’t know how effective this really is, but I’m skeptical of this approach because “I read it on the Internet” is generally not a good arguing tactic.
Delete the word “online”, then.