I’d phrase it as, rationality prevents you from experiencing irrational (i.e., pointless) emotions.
My theory is that almost all negative emotions have to be learned by imitation. They are cached responses copied from role models at an early age, almost always irrational (read: counterproductive), and unfortunately there is no automatic updating system for them.
Even worse is that whenever we experience a cached negative emotion our thinking is impaired (especially by anger), so there is even less chance that we’ll notice and update it. Still worse is that even if we notice the response is irrational and try to update, once the sour taste of the emotion has infected the mind a clean update becomes extraordinarily difficult.
My solution: Make it a habit to imagine awful or offensive situations in advance, and see yourself reacting perfectly.
Like imagine you get stuck in traffic when you’re in a hurry, but you’re totally zen about it. Since it’s your imagination you may as well be 100% chill, heck why not even find some reason to be happy about it? Then that will be the cached response next time you hit traffic.
Or say someone’s kid spills grape juice on your new white carpet (and realistically you’re not going to ask for remuneration). May as well imagine yourself reacting wonderfully, without missing a beat, no hint of irritation whatsoever. This kind of thing really impresses people.
Starts out right; being pointlessly angry at all those crazy drivers is a waste of energy, and often the result of various fallacies (fundamental fallacy? if you drove like that, you’d have a reason to).
But then you mention “why not even find some reason to be happy about it?” That’s a bias; cut it out. Also, you want the kid to realize that spitting juice onto the carpet is unacceptable.
I’d phrase it as, rationality prevents you from experiencing irrational (i.e., pointless) emotions.
My theory is that almost all negative emotions have to be learned by imitation. They are cached responses copied from role models at an early age, almost always irrational (read: counterproductive), and unfortunately there is no automatic updating system for them.
Even worse is that whenever we experience a cached negative emotion our thinking is impaired (especially by anger), so there is even less chance that we’ll notice and update it. Still worse is that even if we notice the response is irrational and try to update, once the sour taste of the emotion has infected the mind a clean update becomes extraordinarily difficult.
My solution: Make it a habit to imagine awful or offensive situations in advance, and see yourself reacting perfectly.
Like imagine you get stuck in traffic when you’re in a hurry, but you’re totally zen about it. Since it’s your imagination you may as well be 100% chill, heck why not even find some reason to be happy about it? Then that will be the cached response next time you hit traffic.
Or say someone’s kid spills grape juice on your new white carpet (and realistically you’re not going to ask for remuneration). May as well imagine yourself reacting wonderfully, without missing a beat, no hint of irritation whatsoever. This kind of thing really impresses people.
Starts out right; being pointlessly angry at all those crazy drivers is a waste of energy, and often the result of various fallacies (fundamental fallacy? if you drove like that, you’d have a reason to).
But then you mention “why not even find some reason to be happy about it?” That’s a bias; cut it out. Also, you want the kid to realize that spitting juice onto the carpet is unacceptable.