Strong downvoted for not just saying what you’re really thinking to the person you have a criticism about which is almost definitely wrong.
Still I guess there should be a word for being mean to one or a few guys in particular against one’s stated principles without an objectively justifying explanation. I would like it to be something else. Especially because your example does not involve predictable scapegoat targeting to match the way that this phenomenon happens in real life.
I’m going to note I’m having a little trouble parsing your sentences here.
Strong downvoted for not just saying what you’re really thinking to the person you have a criticism about which is almost definitely wrong.
I think the thing you’re saying is that you downvoted because you think instead of writing this essay, I should have told a specific person that I think they’re being some kind of jerk (mailing metaphorical bobcats) to a small number of people while being nice to the majority of people. Further, that I’m incorrect about how bad the jerkishness is. Is that close?
Downvote as you will. But I’m trying to talk about a pattern I’ve noticed across multiple people, and I’m trying to share a tool because I can’t be in every ACX meetup in the world. I want local organizers to be able to notice this faster.
Also, speaking directly to the person I have a criticism about isn’t always enough. Imagine Bob is at a meetup and is nice to nine other attendees, but punches the tenth in the face in a way only me and the victim can see. The victim leaves, never to return, and I tell Bob not to do that again. Next week, there’s Bob, the nine from last time, and a newcomer. Bob punches the newcomer in the face where only me and the newcomer can see, the newcomer leaves, and I ban Bob. This is the situation I’m talking about in part IV but more-so because I saw the punching myself, and I’m still going to have to explain to the nine regulars why I banned someone who was only ever nice to them.
(I believe targeting dynamics do happen sometimes—see part V where I at least touch on this - but I also think the basic pattern of “nice to most people but terrible to a few” does happen sometimes.)
Strong downvoted for not just saying what you’re really thinking to the person you have a criticism about which is almost definitely wrong.
Still I guess there should be a word for being mean to one or a few guys in particular against one’s stated principles without an objectively justifying explanation. I would like it to be something else. Especially because your example does not involve predictable scapegoat targeting to match the way that this phenomenon happens in real life.
I’m going to note I’m having a little trouble parsing your sentences here.
I think the thing you’re saying is that you downvoted because you think instead of writing this essay, I should have told a specific person that I think they’re being some kind of jerk (mailing metaphorical bobcats) to a small number of people while being nice to the majority of people. Further, that I’m incorrect about how bad the jerkishness is. Is that close?
Downvote as you will. But I’m trying to talk about a pattern I’ve noticed across multiple people, and I’m trying to share a tool because I can’t be in every ACX meetup in the world. I want local organizers to be able to notice this faster.
Also, speaking directly to the person I have a criticism about isn’t always enough. Imagine Bob is at a meetup and is nice to nine other attendees, but punches the tenth in the face in a way only me and the victim can see. The victim leaves, never to return, and I tell Bob not to do that again. Next week, there’s Bob, the nine from last time, and a newcomer. Bob punches the newcomer in the face where only me and the newcomer can see, the newcomer leaves, and I ban Bob. This is the situation I’m talking about in part IV but more-so because I saw the punching myself, and I’m still going to have to explain to the nine regulars why I banned someone who was only ever nice to them.
(I believe targeting dynamics do happen sometimes—see part V where I at least touch on this - but I also think the basic pattern of “nice to most people but terrible to a few” does happen sometimes.)