This is my experience of marijuana. As a consequence, I’ve only tried it a few times.
I previously would have said that if you have to learn how to experience the effect of a drug over multiple attempts, this was evidence that the effect was strongly influenced by social or anticipatory cues. I’ve been experimenting with modafinil and nicotine over the past few months, and while I think I’m aware of how they affect me, I still haven’t been able to rule out the possibility that these effects are largely a consequence of my anticipating them.
Marijuana: First few doses didn’t do a whole lot; I felt rather like I had a high fever. Makes me feel like everything is stupid, including myself. Memory is definitely impaired. Can make or break experiences; could never play Valley Without Wind again after playing it while inebriated, as it made it painfully apparent how pointless the game was. Makes subjective experiences somewhat more subjective.
Designer drug variant 1: Thought I was going to die; time seemed broken up into fragments which were only loosely connected (linear time felt shattered; I think I shampooed my hair for thirty minutes because I couldn’t tell how long I had been doing it). Later trials with more moderate doses were kind of pleasant; subjective experiences became more subjective, as with THC. I think it was called “Buddha Blend.”
Designer drug variant 2: Felt like I was six years old. Not in an entirely pleasant way, either; more the sense of awkwardness in my own body, like all my muscular memory had been stripped away, and I was learning to do everything again for the first time. If I tried to imagine my own face it was purple and cartoonish, something out of a Disney acid trip. Constant sense of deja vu. If I closed my eyes I thought various organs were talking to me; my lungs, for example, were pissed that I smoked that crap, and my stomach was angry at my for being on a diet. Music was incredibly deep; I could hear every instrument individually. Without music playing, I could hear music which at the time I thought was the music of the universe. Large doses resulted in uncontrollable vomiting. Altogether unpleasant, but definitely interesting. Appropriately titled “Nightmare.”
Designer drug variant 3: Pleasant aloofness. Sort of like laying in the sun. Large doses created disassociation of self/ego death. Don’t remember what it was named, it’s been a while.
DMT: Smaller dose. Hard to describe; pleasant, albeit hazy (although none of the other people who tried it liked it at all). Made me much more introspective.
Mushrooms: Only tried a small dose. Dangerous shit. If you’re happy, you’re deliriously happy. If you’re sad, you’re suicidal.
Kava Kava: No noticeable effects; maybe a slight sense of well-being. Tastes horrible to smoke and even worse to drink.
Nicotine: In smaller doses, combined with caffeine, smooths out caffeine jitters. Moderate doses make me more emotionally level. In larger doses it gives me a headache.
Nicotine is the only one I’m doing anymore. I’ve been hitting it really hard as an emotional crutch, owing to a particularly crappy month. The emotional leveling effect is very useful to get through the workday.
This is my experience of marijuana. As a consequence, I’ve only tried it a few times.
I previously would have said that if you have to learn how to experience the effect of a drug over multiple attempts, this was evidence that the effect was strongly influenced by social or anticipatory cues. I’ve been experimenting with modafinil and nicotine over the past few months, and while I think I’m aware of how they affect me, I still haven’t been able to rule out the possibility that these effects are largely a consequence of my anticipating them.
My experiences:
Marijuana: First few doses didn’t do a whole lot; I felt rather like I had a high fever. Makes me feel like everything is stupid, including myself. Memory is definitely impaired. Can make or break experiences; could never play Valley Without Wind again after playing it while inebriated, as it made it painfully apparent how pointless the game was. Makes subjective experiences somewhat more subjective. Designer drug variant 1: Thought I was going to die; time seemed broken up into fragments which were only loosely connected (linear time felt shattered; I think I shampooed my hair for thirty minutes because I couldn’t tell how long I had been doing it). Later trials with more moderate doses were kind of pleasant; subjective experiences became more subjective, as with THC. I think it was called “Buddha Blend.” Designer drug variant 2: Felt like I was six years old. Not in an entirely pleasant way, either; more the sense of awkwardness in my own body, like all my muscular memory had been stripped away, and I was learning to do everything again for the first time. If I tried to imagine my own face it was purple and cartoonish, something out of a Disney acid trip. Constant sense of deja vu. If I closed my eyes I thought various organs were talking to me; my lungs, for example, were pissed that I smoked that crap, and my stomach was angry at my for being on a diet. Music was incredibly deep; I could hear every instrument individually. Without music playing, I could hear music which at the time I thought was the music of the universe. Large doses resulted in uncontrollable vomiting. Altogether unpleasant, but definitely interesting. Appropriately titled “Nightmare.” Designer drug variant 3: Pleasant aloofness. Sort of like laying in the sun. Large doses created disassociation of self/ego death. Don’t remember what it was named, it’s been a while. DMT: Smaller dose. Hard to describe; pleasant, albeit hazy (although none of the other people who tried it liked it at all). Made me much more introspective. Mushrooms: Only tried a small dose. Dangerous shit. If you’re happy, you’re deliriously happy. If you’re sad, you’re suicidal. Kava Kava: No noticeable effects; maybe a slight sense of well-being. Tastes horrible to smoke and even worse to drink. Nicotine: In smaller doses, combined with caffeine, smooths out caffeine jitters. Moderate doses make me more emotionally level. In larger doses it gives me a headache.
Nicotine is the only one I’m doing anymore. I’ve been hitting it really hard as an emotional crutch, owing to a particularly crappy month. The emotional leveling effect is very useful to get through the workday.